Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I’m back! And the first thing I want to say is a big THANK YOU to everyone for all your comments on my last post. It brought a lump to my doggy throat reading them, and made me realise how simply lovely you all are (Mickle, I do hope Zebby’s feeling better).

I wish I’d been able to keep blogging whilst I was away, but James & Jane at the kennels were having problems with their connection and were offline most of the time so even when I sneaked onto their computer I couldn’t get onto my blog. On top of that, I was simply SO busy with life in the kennels, I was rushed off my little paws. More about that later.

It was GREAT seeing mum again and I got a tad hysterical to be honest – as is my way, but the first thing she said to me was “You’re bloody filthy, you stink and you look like a hairy yeti.” Honestly! What a thing to say after not seeing me all that time. She stuck me in the shower as soon as we got home and attacked me with a pair of scissors. It’s not my fault that I was smelly and hairy and had lots of debris stuck in my coat. Claire couldn’t clip me whilst mum was away (because she’s had a new pup) and they couldn’t fit me in anywhere else until March, so I’m stuck with being a hairy yeti for the mo. (You guessed it, the photo above is an old one of me, before the hols)

I feel a bit sorry for mum and Uncle Hugh. They didn’t have such a good time. Mum reckons that she must have unwittingly “...pissed on a Leprechaun…” some time this year because she said, “…Luck isn’t my middle name at the moment…” well, I could have told her that, ‘because it’s Lucy. Anyway, it turns out that they ended up with a bad tummy for half of the holiday and were thoroughly miserable. Normally mum has a really strong tum, and she can eat anything. Uncle Hugh used to say it was ‘iron-clad’, but this time she said she had diarrhoea so badly she says she could have “…shat through a straw…” at one point. Eloquence personified my mum is. Actually, I can’t imagine why she’d want to do that – shit through a straw. I reckon it could be messy and would require an colossal amount of precision, which mum doesn’t possess. I know what it’s like to have diarrhoea – it’s not fun. It doesn’t half make a mess of my bum hair, but I don’t think that was mum’s problem – maybe Uncle Hugh’s though. Anyway, I’m digressing.

So, they had a crap time for the second half, but apparently the first half was great, in Singapore, and they laughed lots and had fun.

As for me, I had a BRRRILLIANT time. I made a new friend called Roger who is a Great Dane – so we looked kind of odd together. He’s also a eunuch, which is why they let me play with him. I’m ok with male dogs who’ve lost their balls. They don’t make my hackles go up, so I’m allowed out with them. I got on so well with Rog, we swapped email addresses.

He was a right scaredy cat to start with. I felt sorry for him when he arrived because it was his first time at the kennels and he was terrified so I took him under my wing straight away (as much as a Mini Schnauzer can take a Great Dane under it’s wing, which is not at all actually, I’m being hypothetical). As it turned out, Roger is terrified of everything.

He’s a great big lad. I’m talking huge, but he’s so scared of stuff it made me a bit mischievous and sometimes I’d creep up on him and make loud noises behind his back so that I could watch him jump out of his skin, like I do with mum. I know, I know, I’m cruel, but it WAS funny.

His mum and dad brought him in with seven cuddly toys, a comfort blanket, three beds (morning, afternoon and night) and a CD player so that he could listen to his favourite ‘Whale’ music to help him sleep. His mum’s into stuff like crystals, candles, aromatherapy, meditation and all things ‘spirity’ – she’s what my mum would call a hippy (but in a nice way).

My main problem with Rog was that we’d be in the ‘exercise’ field and I’d keep losing him. Then I’d realise that he was actually standing right next to me, but I’m so tiny and he’s so tall, I’d be looking through the gap between his legs whilst wondering where he was. In the end he learned to stand back a bit, so that I could see him.

I made lots of new friends as well as Rog, and there were some regulars too, but it was Rog who stayed the same length of time as I did and he’s the one I’ll be keeping in touch with. We’re like the proverbial chalk and cheese and he really is a big girly, but I liked the soft lad, pity there’s no photo, maybe next time.

I must say, I’ve REALLY missed you all, and I’m REALLY looking forward to catching up with all your blogs, but it will take me some time, and I can’t do it this evening because I’m having some quality time with mum and Uncle Hugh – I’ve missed them more than anything and being away from folk you love makes you appreciate them even more, don’t you think?


PS: here are a couple of photos that mum took whilst she was away, the cows are for my lovely Braja (we missed you xxxx).

The view from mum's hotel window in the second week, pity she was too busy pooing to enjoy it!:

The atrium of the hotel in Singapore from the 19th floor - made mum's fanny twitch!:

A calf and some cows for Braja, in Langkawi, Malaysia


Irish Gumbo said...

Henry, Dear Lad!

Welcome back! yes, we did miss you, quite a bit. Sorry to hear about Mum/Hugh's tummy troubles ('shat through a straw' made me spit tea on the screen LOL!), but it sounds like they did have some fun, as did you.

Looking forward to catching up with you, mate!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

And that thing you mentioned about the height in the hotel making your mum's fanny twitch has just made me choke on a chunk of pineapple!

We've missed you so much, Henri - and your mum and Oncle Hughlot - Blogger's gone to the dogs without you, with all the glitsches and Word Verification being up the creek and so on! I'll bet you look all shaggy and cuddly with your long hair - p.s. I'm a bit of a tree-hugger too! x

Juliet Colors said...

Henry! It's so good to have you back. I'm glad you had a nice time in the kennels and made a new friend, but I'm sorry to hear about your mum being sick.

Thanks for the lovely photos! Although, just looking at that atrium photo makes me feel a bit woozy. (I might be just a little bit sensitive to heights.)

I love the cows strolling down the road.

Enjoy your family time. *hugs*

detroit dog said...

Henry, I am so glad you have returned. Finally, some quality reading again.

Don't bother to stop by my blog. Nothing is new there. :-/

Diane said...

OH, Henry! You were sorely missed! So glad to have you back (stinkified and all!) and happy you had a lovely time. Tell your mum sorry about the tum troubles and glad she's back to speed now. I'm sure it'll take you forever to catch up on all you've missed, so I won't keep you. But if you do get a chance, I did a post on Sundance yesterday, called 'My Boy' :)

La Belette Rouge said...

Lily and I missed you madly. I am so sorry your Mum was not feeling well. We are all so glad you are back home safe and sound and less stinky.

I am taking Lily to Paris in April. Any tips for us, Henry?

SSQuo said...

Henry you are back! And back with a BANG I might add.

Pity to hear about mom's crappy time, but it made for a fun reading experience, so that must count for something? I mean, she went all the way to Spore and Malaysia and she came back with poo stories, how fun is that? :)

I love the portion where you talk about your bum hair and then casually mention U. Hugh's, thats verbal diarrheaa right there, and so totally worth the digress. lol

Welcome back lil fella, we missed ya!

Robert said...

Good to see you back again. I need some advice. How do you do that cock your leg up thing? I'm still squatting! I'm nearly grown up now, you know - over 8 months old, I heard Robert say. Perhaps Robert might let me do another post...?

lady jicky said...

So glad to see you back Henry! Sorry to hear that Mum had "travellers tummy" but she did have a good time - yes?
Tell her to take some Lomital tabs with her on every trip for that tummy prob, just in case.
I see you had a better time than Mum and Uncle Hugh !!
I have been to my first Puppy Class and it was tons of fun. I played and played with all except the big german shepard who was too scared to come out from underneath his Mum's chair. See, its those big guys with the probs Henry! LOL
See Ya!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Henry! WOOF!

Ruby Isabella said...

Welcome back! You paint a vivid picture of Rog. You sound like quite the pair. He was lucky to have to look after him (except for the bits when you scared him.)

SSP said...

welcome back Henri! Thank you for the vivid descriptions of everything...it is like I was there, sharing the experience. hope you are able to stay in touch with Roger - you know those holiday flings rarely last...first the calls stop, then the emails, and before you know it, it is just a treasured memory....

Self-Proclaimed Editor said...

Welcome back - you've been missed. I hope you can imagine my tail wildly wagging!

Lisa said...

Welcome home to you all. I'm sorry that I laughed at your mum's tummy troubles. I couldn't help it.

BTW, my youngest daughter Garbo saw your picture and now she wants you to come live with us. She feels terribly deprived to not get to live with a dog. She loves the cats, but they cannot compare to a dog in her estimation.

Lee said...

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

~Marie~ said...

Welcome back Henry. Peanut gives you two paws up on your fantastic blog post.

Mickle in NZ said...

Hooray, Henry's back!

Zebby's lip has healed but he is still even more spooked by everything than usual. He's very like your new friend, Roger, in nature and likes to sleep on his cuddly toys (when he's not beating them up - its a cat thing).

Hope Mum and Uncle Hugh's innards have recovered. What a nasty way to spend a holiday.

huggles to you all, Mickle (Zeb sez Mmm!!!)

♥玮倩 said...

Hello Henry,

welcome back! :]

best regards

LadyFi said...

Welcome home, Henry! We missed you too! I did laugh, though, when I read about the crap time your mum and dad had - very naughty, I know, so please don't tell them.

However, after all their pooing, I do think they have a bloody check saying that YOU are the stinky one!! People who live in glass houses and all that...

Oh - I did get your joke about eating crepes (crap) - ha ha ha! Very French humour! ;-)

LadyFi said...

I think I meant: they have a bloody cheek...

Blu said...

Bonjour Henri, glad you had a fun time with your new friend.

Hope you are home for a few weeks, so we can hear all the news. Ask Mum is that an English fanny or an American one, since they are very different!!!!!

Big Hugs to you WOOF xxxx

Henry the Dog said...

Irish - it is good to be back, glad you had a laugh at mum's expense - hee hee :):)

Wof no Imp - I do luck cute, despite what mum says and I no longer stink. It is good to be back though, despite the blogger probs xx

Juliet - yeah mum's hugely sensitive to heights too - she gets dizzy just standing on a chair. It's going to take a long time catching up with folk, but it'll be fun:)

Detroit - what's happening in your neck of the woods? FOUR WEEKS since your last post. Are you busy with your new venture?? Tis good to be back, I must admit. xx

Diane - I missed everyone actually, just popped over to yours and left a comment or two. xx

La Belette - I think some new designer gear may be called for if Lily's going to Paris. Wow! She'll have a ball with all that dog poo to sniff xx

SSQuo - my mum regularly talks about her bowel movements. It's a hot topic around the dinner table in this house. Mum and Uncle Hugh often discuss the consistency of mine;) xxx

Blaze - It takes a bit of practice as it's hard to balance on three legs initially. Saying that, it's not something I did consciously. It kinda happened one day - mum actually texted Uncle Hugh to tell him. I was only 5 months old but her previous dog, Sam, was nearly one year before he started cocking. So, don't worry fella, it'll happen soon:)

Kenzo - Hi little fella. Glad to hear you had a great time. Keep it up, it's good for socialising. Mum never took me because we were all over the place when I was young and look what happened - I get all bristly now with other male dogs, so keep going xx

J Cosmo - you have a better bark than I do:)

Ruby - Rog was fun. I had a great time but I'm also glad to be back. And I didn't scare him THAT much:)

SSP - I know, these friendships start with lots of good intentions but at least I might see him again because his mum and dad were pleased with how he got on, so there's every chance. Hey, it's good to be back too xx

Landlord & KC - my tails wagging too xxx

Lisa - don't worry - I laughed at mum's tummy problems too, and mum did anyway. Tell Garbo that I'd love to come and stay with her too, but I'd miss my mum xxx

Lee - you've gone all 'poety' in my absence. Have you been seeing that J Cosmo and drinking too much Pinot with him??? Hey, it's good to be back - we were a bit worried about you - mum heard the sad news in Australia and thought about our Aussie friends. Thank goodness you're all ok xx

Marie - thank you - say hello to Peanut xx

Mickle - so pleased that Zebby's a bit better. It's great to be back. Mum's innards are now fine by the way - she says her bowel probs were nothing compared to yours and she considers herself very lucky. We all too often take our bodies for granted don't we? xx

Vodka - mum looked all over Singapore for you but never saw another Schnauzer. Where were you hiding? Mum likes Singapore very much and reckons you're a lucky pooch living somewhere so lovely, clean and safe with the most wonderful Botanical Garden that she's ever seen. Lucky you xx

Lady Fi - my thoughts exactly. Glad you got the joke, though I admit is was a tad dire. It's so good to be back. I've been trying to catch up all morning but I've got a LONG way to go xx

Henry the Dog said...

Blu - you must have been posting when I was. Definitely the English version, a bit rude I know but apparently it's what happens when mum looks down from something high. But I know some folk's 'derriers' do twitch too when they're a bit scared. Mine does. But with mum, it's the English version:)

French Fancy said...

I am so happy to hear that all three of you are back safe because I did think about you all from time to time and hoped that there were no major disasters. What a shame about mum and H's bad tums though.

Roger sounds quite a character but he is in your shadow, Henry - although you must have been in his most of the time. I bet you are pleased to be home even though you had to pay the price by having a shower. Never mind - perhaps you can roll in something in the woods.


misty and poppy bichon said...

We missed you a lot Henry and want to know how many female dog bottoms you sniffed

Dumdad said...

Welcome back!

Marie and John said...

Hello Henry and welcome back.

I'm Marie from the BOGOF blog. I thought I'd come and say hello.

Glad you enjoyed your holiday and sorry to hear your mum wasn't too well on hers.


Megryansmom said...

Hi I hopped over from French Fancy and I cannot believe I am commenting on a dog's blog. Too funny. Anyway, greetings from The States have a great day.

Henry the Dog said...

FFancy - yes it's too good to be back. I think mum has also decided that it is the last 'long-haul' holiday for a long, long time. I think she forgot how tiring it can be. The last one she did was NZ and it took her a week to get over it - why does she do it? Anyway, she can't do it anymore 'cause she's running out of plastic. They only went on that one because they'd already paid for everything. Roger was a great guy. Mum saw him, actually. He made her laugh because he was so big but so nervous and gentle. Mum has a soft spot for Great Danes. Actually, mum has a soft spot for ALL dogsxxx
PS: I'm already full of debris again after our big walk today so mum's growling.

Misty & Poppy - only four this time. The kennels weren't as busy as normal. They were nice bums though:):):)

Dumdad - thanks. It's good to be home:)

Marie & John - did you find me through Jennysmith? I must pop over to yours this afternoon and have a nosy. Hope you drop by again. xx

Megryansmom - thanks for dropping by. You'd be amazed who blogs these days and I have lots of friends over 'the pond'. You may find it strange commenting on my blog, but you'd get used to it. Sometimes it's good not to take life too seriously don't you think? Hope you drop by again. xxx

Frankie Furter said...

Hi Henry !!! I do hope that you cautioned your new friend Roger, WHAT HAPPENS IN THE KENNEL, STAYS IN THE KENNEL !!! he he he
Darn, a poop story. We do love our poop, don't we.
What is it with people. Your mum brings pictures home. She thinks that is grrrreat. You and I don't have cameras. How are we supposed to keep our memories?? We bring the grrreat stuff home right on us. What was she thinking? She washed and cut away all your memories. Shame on her.
Love the bit about not being able to find Roger. It must have been like a tree hiding in a forest. he he he
Glad you are all home safe and sound. Licks and Wags !

Wild Creations said...

Yay your back! Missed you Henry.

Jennysmith said...

My darlin Henry! Welcome back! So lovely to see your posting again.

Super images, it must have been a really lovely place. My love and sympathies to your mum, there's nothing worse than being ill away from home. And she missed you so much - i know that.

Bloody mums eh? MY mum would have greeted me with that! I tell you, what are they like!

Yes, its funny but some big dogs can be real pussies ( pardon that word) .

we;ll chat lots, Henry. So pleased you're back. xxxx

Stubby said...

Henry - I agree with everyone that it is so good to have you back. So sorry to hear about your mum's "issues" while she was gone. Dad gets the same way when he travels, but he never mentioned shitting through a straw. I will ask him about that when he gets home.
Roger sounds like a hoot! My best buddies are big dogs because I think I am a big dog. Can't wait to see a picture of your new hairdo!

Marie and John said...

Hello Henry,

Yes I did find you though my good friend Jennysmith.

I've been meaning to drop by and say hello for ages.

Thanks for stopping by our blog and I'm glad you like it. I've put a reply to your comment on our blog.

Love Marie xx

herhimnbryn said...

G'day Matey!,
Grand to have you back. I go a bit hysterical too when the 'servant' picks me up from the kennel!
Your mate sounds like a gentle giant.\
love Bryn

Henry the Dog said...

Frankie - I agree, we dogs should be given cameras whilst we're away. Imagine the photos we could take! Licks and wags to you too xx

Wild Creations - thanks sweetie. I missed you all too xx

Jennysmith - great to see you around again. Mum has lots of photos, I'll be putting some more up. It was a bummer that mum & Uncle Hugh were ill as it will be their last holiday now for some time. Back to work in the UK for them soon. Uncle Hugh's already there. Oh well, c'est la vie eh? And I know mum missed me, I could tell because she keeps grabbing me and cuddling me now that I don't stink:)

Stubby - hello old chap, nice to hear that your routines are still intact. That's what I miss when I'm away - my routines. Mum doesn't normally get tummy probs, so it was a shock for her. As for the shitting through a straw bit, think it might have been a turn of phrase:):):)

BRYN! How you're doing? Mum and me were worried about our Aussie friends because we don't really know whereabouts you all live (other than Ruby who I know lives in Brisbane - so she was far away from those awful fires). Anyway, tis good to know you're safe & sound. Rog was a gentle giant. I'm really hoping to see him again. They put him in the exercise field with me because he's terrified of big dogs. It worked well:)

Henry the Dog said...

Stubby - PS: in case you & everyone else thinks I'm going senile - my comment about your routines was in response to your comment on your own blog about you still sleeping and eating as normal - it was still in my mind when I posted:):)

Anonymous said...

Henry!! So glad you're back. And to read your blog again - your imagery made me laugh! Enjoy your time with Mum and Uncle Hugh! All the blogs will be there when you're ready to catch up.

J. L. Krueger said...

Welcome back Henry! Sorry to hear your mum had it rough, but cast iron stomachs eventually rust. Your mum should get one that is ceramic lined.

I'm glad you had a good time and made new friends.

J. L. Krueger said...

Welcome back Henry! Sorry to hear your mum had it rough, but cast iron stomachs eventually rust. Your mum should get one that is ceramic lined.

I'm glad you had a good time and made new friends.

herhimnbryn said...

We live in Perth WA,far away from the eastern coast. We keep our fingers crossed 'cos we live in the forest up in the hills.

Henry the Dog said...

Kathryn - yes it's lovely to be back but there seems to be so many blogs and so little time!!

J L Krueger - too true - ceramic lined? Now that's an idea. After all she's no spring chick at the moment. I must remember to add your blog to my blog roll - will do it today:)

Bryn - goodness - we'll keep our fingers crossed for you too. Bet you can't wait for winter this time!

Minnie-Moo (Rescue Lab) said...

Welcome back Henry! Sorry your mum and UH didn't have the best of holidays. The beach looked beautiful, what a shame they were ill.

Muzzle and I love reading your blog. It always makes us smile/laugh :)