A grand day out

It was Mother’s Day yesterday in the UK so I decided to celebrate it here in France too and took mum out for a picnic.

Ok…ok…it wasn’t MY decision. Not exactly. It was Uncle Hugh’s – but I had been transmitting thought-waves his way. I’d been thinking really hard, “Take mum out somewhere nice” because they’d not done anything together for a while and mum seemed a bit maudlin.

Anyway, I knew something was going on because mum was packing plates and knives & forks and stuff and so I got all giddy because I reckoned it was going to be a PICNIC and when there’s a PICNIC mum sometimes stops being strict and she lets Uncle Hugh give me titbits. So I ran round and round in a hyper way, and mum called me “Crazy Dog” and blamed it on the Haribo Jellies that Uncle Hugh had given me the night before.

Then we all piled into the car and I was a bit miffed ‘cause when Uncle Hugh is in the car with mum, I’m relegated to the back seat. I don’t like the back seat ‘cause once mum had to brake really quickly for a bad French motorist and I flew off the seat and shot under the passenger seat and bumped my head. Now mum always puts my bed on the back seat (for “padding”) and makes Uncle Hugh put his passenger seat right back, so I can’t slip under it, then she puts a pillow in the space between the drivers seat and the back seat. Bloody palaver. If she’d just buy one of those posh doggy safety seats, it’d do the trick. But mum’s skint at the moment. But she wasn’t once…..I’m digressing.

Then we set off.

We ended up in this lovely place, where we went for a long walk by the side of a canal, and there were loads of new smells. I get excited about new places because there’s always new stuff to sniff.

Then we had to find mum somewhere to pee. She found a big bush.

Then we found this picnic spot and there was a boat called Henri. Honest. We all laughed. Here it is:

It was a great picnic. I found some really old bread and meat that had been left by another picnic, some time ago judging by the smell of the meat – mum said “DROP!” in her Alpha Bitch voice. I swallowed.

There were some ducks too, but they were scolding me in a very strange language, and it wasn’t French, they were going “NYAKNYAKNYAKNYAKNYAK”. Naughty little buggers. I would have given them the finger if I had one.

On the way back mum got a bit lost but she's glad she did because she found a lovely little village, where we had a stroll. It was great. There were tons of dog poo on the pavements. Mum stood in some and said "Shit!". Quite appropriate n'est-ce pas?

Here's that lovely little village with the poo:

Here’s a butt shot for my lady fans – I’m not keen on water – I was a tad wary.

Here’s me waiting for titbits.


Here’s another gratuitous butt shot.

Yep, it was a grand day out