A Big Bank Broke and Mum's in a Tizzy

Mum’s been in a right tizzy the last couple of days. From what I can make out it’s something to do with the Credit Munch and this big bank breaking - I think it’s called Lemons, or something like that. Anyway, it’s broken. I think it might have fallen from somewhere quite high, onto something quite hard. That can break things. Anyway, because this bank broke, then lots of people won’t have as much plastic and they’re not very happy about it, and the markets aren’t going well. I think these markets are a bit like the ones in the village near us where there are lots of stalls selling cheese and stuff. Perhaps these markets can’t sell their cheese.

I thought that if things are broken they can be mended. My mum’s dishwasher broke and she cried a lot and went a bit hysterical, but she got it mended. My mum’s fingernails used to break when she had those funny false ones put on them, but she always got them mended. So why can’t they simply mend this bank, then everyone would be happy again?

Mum was talking to Uncle Hugh about a ‘knockonaffect’. I don’t know what that is but it’s worrying mum and she’s bitten her nails even shorter. She says we might have to go and live back in the UK ‘on a fooking council estate with fooking pond life’. I don’t know what a ‘fooking council estate’ is but I don’t mind pond life. I like ducks. I can chase them. When you chase ducks, sometimes they pretend to be dead. They fall down and roll over and it makes me laugh, because they’re not really dead. They’re good at acting, but it makes me stop chasing them because you can’t chase something if it’s not running away can you? I like newts too, and frogs. Frogs are funny, they make daft noises and jump high.