Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Likes and dislikes of a Celebrity Pooch

I was inspired to do this post by my pal Stubby, because now that I’m becoming famous (it having been leaked that Victoria Beckham is my number 1 fan) some folk are wanting more nitty gritty personal stuff. I don’t mind – it happens when one is on the road to celebritydom. Yes, that’s me on the cover of Vogue (thanks Braja). When Armani signs me up, I’ll be earning more than £10 a month and will be able to support mum so that she won’t have to go back to the UK.

So here goes for you folks who are hungry for more insight into my complex character and celebrity lifestyle.

Loves: Whatever mum and Uncle Hugh are eating. It always tastes better than anything else.
Dislikes: Grapefruit – it kind of makes my nose wrinkle and my eyes screw up tight.

Place to sleep
Loves: On mum’s knee (pictured below)
Dislikes: Actually, I can sleep anywhere, but I guess if I had to choose somewhere that I like least, it would have to be in the back of Uncle Hugh’s flying car, and that’s not because I’m afraid of flying. It’s just that it sometimes gets REALLY bumpy and sometimes I float, which can be a bit disconcerting!

Loves: My tennis ball and my new squeaky tug that I got for Christmas (pictured below)
Dislikes: Toys that won’t fit in my mouth – what’s the point?

Time of day
Loves: Walk time – of course. It means I get to spend time with mum and smell lots of interesting stuff, like fox poo and things that died a long time ago.
Dislikes: The boring bit in between breakfast and walk time when mum and Uncle Hugh are sat at their desks on their computer and not taking any notice of me. That’s when I start ‘playing up’ to get their attention – here’s a little clip of me doing just that.

Body position
Loves: Curled up all snug.
Dislikes: When mum puts me on my back and cuddles me as if I were a little pup. MUM I’M A BIG BOY NOW!!!

Loves: Between 0 and 55 degrees - perfect!
Dislikes: Summer when it’s too hot to walk. NOT good.

Loves: Eating, walking, peeing, sniffing poo.
Dislikes: Going to the “The Vets”, of course.

Loves: My chest being tickled.
Dislikes: My head being patted - grrrrrrr

Loves: Lady dogs, of course.
Dislikes: Most big male dogs (my blogging pals excluded) – they make me feel all prickly and want to show them who’s boss.

Loves: NOTHING. I hate being groomed – period! It should be outlawed. Mum tries to do it from time to time but I sulk so much and look so pitiful (I’ve perfected the art of looking pitiful) mum simply cuts the lugs out of my fur when they appear. However, I have no choice but to succumb when Claire, my groomer, cuts my fur off. Otherwise, I’d melt in the summer.

Loves: “Farting hands” – even though they scare me stiff and make me run away, I still run back for more – I can’t help myself. I also love “Kill Uncle Hugh’s Slipper”. It makes me all giddy.
Dislikes: Football – those bloody balls are simply TOO big.

Loves: Anyone who likes dogs.
Dislikes: Naughty human pups – they need their backsides nipping.

Loves: Thunder and fireworks.
Dislikes: “Farting Hands” – I know, I know – I voted it as a game I love, but let’s say I have a love/hate relationship with it. I get borderline hysterical.

Loves: Anything to do with Harry Potter. I’d love to be a dog Wizard. Now that would be cool. I could turn everything into food.
Dislikes: I’ve only read Harry Potter stuff, so I can’t really say.

So, there you are – for all my fans out there – hope it quenches your thirst for more minutiae of my celebrity lifestyle.

Actually, at the moment I’m in the doghouse. Mum discovered me eating something I shouldn’t have been eating and it gave me a bit of a poorly tum. I won’t go into detail – some of you may be in the middle of breakfast – but it was very old and very dead. Normally, I’m very good because mum has taught me NOT to eat stuff like that, or roll in things that are slimy or stink (like fresh cow poo), but sometimes….just sometimes….the dogginess in me simply takes over!


Lee said...

I'm impressed, Henry. You sound pretty normal!

Lee said...

Normal, for a dog, that is.

LadyFi said...

Loved this post Henry! However, I'm sad to hear you don't like human pups... My human pups just adore dogs and would tickle and hug and play with you, if you let them...

Do you not eat poo sometimes? I mean, it can be pretty irresistible at times, n'est ce pas?

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Can't you use the human pups as toys? Bury them in the backyard, perhaps?

Mickle in NZ said...

What a fun clip of you - a positive way to get your Mum's attention.

My PC is in the bedroom. Zebby silently slinks across the bed and wacks me in the back, claws extended. That works! Then he goes all cutiepie and super purry, gets me every time.

I really like your Mum's jimjams and slippers. And I like that make her laugh so much.

Huggles and purrs, Mickle and Zebbycat

Self-Proclaimed Editor said...

Hi Henry - My lady calls that a "dietary indiscretion" -- hope your stomach feels better soon. But wasn't it great at the time! Check out pics of me today. I'm the fashion model for today's post.

Henry the Dog said...

Lee - Normal? Me? Yeah, I guess so:)

Lady Fi - no, it's only NAUGHTY ones I don't like. The others are fine. No, eating poo is a definite NO. Mum stopped me doing it when I was young. There used to be lots of horses around us and I used to have a good old binge on horse poo. But mum stopped me (at least she thinks she did:):):)

J Cosmo - that's an idea. I like that one:)

Mickle - that made me laugh about Zebby, he sounds such a character. As for mum and her jim jams, you'd think she lives in them. Well, actually she does whilst she's in the house. She has quite a few of them, and big fluffy slippers too.

KC - I like that 'dietary indiscretion' nice one. Will be popping over to yours right after this :)

French Fancy said...

Sorry to hear you've got a bad tum and hope it was worth it. I loved the clip of you killing your colourful basket. Is that the day bed? We've got various beds and baskets around the house but of course they do prefer being cuddled alongside us.

Are they mum's pyjamas? -very snazzy.

Indrayani aka, Indi! said...

Awww... thanks for sharing yourself with us Henry..
Every time I read you...I get this little smile on my face..
I can see you doing all those things that you described here..
You are awfully cute cute cute!!

Say henry...did you like my changed blog look?At first I had dots dark blog template and now I have a new header and all..
See I am gurl..and I love writing so I tried doing something close to that....

Csquaredplus3 said...

That was fun! Mary doesn't like the vacuum or when I try to iron. The ironing board frightens her even though she's never touched it and it doesn't make noise.

You really are becoming quite famous. Who would have thought?

Blu said...

Big woofer and I play games, called I must wrench that disgusting stinky bone out of your mouth that you found in those trees! Tiz boring staying in I agree, sadly today it just rains and rains, so big woofer is very very bored!
Big hugs to you xx

herhimnbryn said...

Hallo there Henry, Bryn's Mum here.
You are ADORABLE!!!!!!!!
ps don't tell Bryn I said that!

Dumdad said...

Henry, Superstar. I'm honoured you gave up some of your valuable time to chat to us, we the nobodies. Do you do autographs?

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Henry, you make me smile so much with your antics on film - That must be such a job for your mum to do, but she is an excellent director, and I know all your doggy friends really love seeing you in animated glory - You can tell you have such a sense of humour, which all girls love in their (doggy) men!

Can I have a paw-print-'signed' photo please - Now you're on the cover of Vogue 'n' all?

Braja said...

Henry, you are hilarious, and I love you more all the time :) But you should tell your mummy, cow poo is actually incredibly antiseptic. Seriously. She should google it and see. It's nature's secret. Here they smear it on the floor and walls, it's very auspicious, and it doesn't smell at all. They also burn it and the smoke smells wonderful (when it's dry) and keep mosquitoes away....go ahead....ROLL!!!!

Self-Proclaimed Editor said...

Argh . . . I tried commenting earlier but it didn't go through. The pal with KC is grown now and a very handsome man. Now, though, instead of just big kids coming to visit, they bring along little ones that I get to sniff and lick. Yum, and find out what they had for lunch! :) KC

Henry the Dog said...

FFancy - my tum's only a bit 'jippy' - my number twos are a bit sloppy - is that too much detail??? Yes, that's my daytime bed. My nighttime and morning one is under the table in the kitchen and my evening one is in the living space where mum and Uncle Hugh's sofas are. But I also sleep on the sofas too, of course:) Yes, they are mum's jim jams. She wears jim jams whenever she's hanging around the house.

Indi - oh stop it. You're going to make me SO big headed. Yes, I've been across to yours. We like your new blog xxx

CSquared - aahh, poor little Mary, bless her, being frightened of the vacuum and the ironing board - good excuse not to use them eh??? Maybe she's one extremely bright little pooch:)

Blu - (Henry laughing out loud)Oh I can imagine that game. Mum would NOT like to play that, I assure you. We've got freezing weather at the mo but no rain so we had a lovely long walk this morning. Hope we don't get your rain later xxx

Bryn's mum (Henry blushing) why thank you. I'm feeling all coy now. I promise I won't tell him, but mum think's he's a very handsome chappie anyway xx

Dumdad - will a pawprint do? PS: It's front cover of Esquire next:)

A Woman of NI - perhaps I'll get an Oscar - imagine me on the red carpet? Or perhaps not - I'd trot past unseen wouldn't I? I'm so close to the ground, I'd be hovering, unnoticed, around Kate Winslet's ankles. Actually, I could think of worse places to be:)

Braja - I once rolled in a particularly fresh, green, wet pat when I was a young lad in Switzerland and mum grabbed me by my harness and dunked me in the river - the water went right over my head. I remember looking up at her through the water thinking "Why are you trying to drown me mummy?" I daren't do it again, believe me;)

KC - (Henry laughing) - I guess you hope they bring it back up, the lunch that is? Hee hee..xx

detroit dog said...

Henry - Thank you so much! It is just like that famous TV program The Actors' Studio, where they ask famous actors all these questions.

But we still don't know what your favorite naughty word is. Do tell!

Juliet Colors said...

I love you, Henry! You are so cute! Thanks for sharing your life with us. :-)

Henry the Dog said...

Detroit - BOLLOCKS! I just love that word. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks, I like saying it over and over again. For some reason it makes me come over all butch. Mum likes that word too :):):)

Henry the Dog said...

Juliet - you must have been commenting just as I was. Thanks for the compliments. This is turning into a 'love' fest xxx

detroit dog said...

Henry's Mum: Sorry to post this here, but I was just reading a NY Times article (in the Book section) and came across a story that made me think of your writer friend who is trying to be published.

Have her read this article about self-publishing:

- Veronica

Henry the Dog said...

Veronica - mum says thanks and she'll have a look and pass it on x

Stubby said...

Sorry to hear that you are in the doghouse Henry. I know how irrestible everything is when we are out on our walks.
I love your video - I try everything I can to get Mom's attention including crying and sometimes it even works.
I think maybe I would like to be a dog wizard too so that I could also turn everything into food. Maybe we can start a dog wizard academy - that will bring in the big bucks!
I hope you feel better soon.

Blu said...

Henry just popped back to say have you read this?

Irish Gumbo said...

Henry, what a handsome fellow you are! You belong on that mag cover for sure. The list, well, its not that different from mine in some ways. Well, the poo sniffing, not so much.

"Farting Hands" Ha! That seems to confuse my cats quite a bit, but my daughter finds it hysterical. She hasn't run away yet, anyway.

Very cute video, you gave that dog bed the old what for! Please tell Mum I think she has a lovely voice! :)

Henry the Dog said...

Stubby - a dog Wizard Academy? Like Dogwarts perhaps? That'd be great. I'm feeling fine by the way, it's only my poo that's a bit runny. Sorry, too much detail:)

Blu - no I haven't read it, but guess what? I will do just after this:)

Irish - you're so nice. Mum says thank you. She is a very genuine lady you know. What you hear is very 'her'. Nothing's put on. She's not like that. With mum, what you hear is what you get. She loved your post today. She never really got to know her grandparents. But she knows about loss. She thinks's you're very lucky in lots of ways but you've had lots of hard times too. Life's all about hard stuff and good stuff, isn't it? How would we appreciate one without the other? I don't know xxxx

SSQuo said...

Thanks for offering us a glimpse into your celebrity lifestyle. You know how much we love knowing intricate details about other people's lives. Its so nice to know that even you a celebrity still out for your own walk, and smell fox poo! don't ever let your peeps take control of that ...ever!

Virginia S. Wood, PsyD said...

As I said yesterday, I'm really glad to see your Mum is making good use of her new camera. Now if you could just get her to give us some video clips of "farting hands" and "Kill Uncle Hugh's slipper"...

Henry the Dog said...

SSQuo - no chance of that. I'll always stay close to my doggy roots xxx

Virginia S Wood - see the clips at the end of my posts of 26th Jan and 22nd Jan respectively and you'll see 'Farting hands' and 'Kill Uncle Hugh's Slipper':):)

lady jicky said...

G'day Henry. Oooh its hot today - 43c and its not midday yet.
Hey, that is a nice "like an dislike" list . I have mine over at Stubbys blog.
I love the "wreck your bed" action going on there. I am taking notes as I watch.
See Ya!

Diane said...

Oh, Henry... very old and very dead? Ick.

It's funny... Sundance likes to lay in my lap like a baby, so I can rub his tum. Of course, he's rather large and it's difficult to do... but I try... until parts of me start to fall asleep and then I have put him down.

Frankie Furter said...

Hi Henry, We had no power for part of the day, due to a big snow & ice storm. I did not think I would ever get to leave you a comment here so I left one on my blog. I loved your blog today. Any discussion that mentions food, grooming, and poo has to be very much wonderful. Right?
My mom says to tell your friend to avoid self publish like the black plague. At least check them out on Editors and Predetors.
P.S. Did I ever tell you about my huge find??? All by myself, I found a big pile of BEAR POO. It was a grrrreat find, but I believe it is the only "brand" we should avoid all contact with. I know that I certainly kept my distance. Mom was soooo proud of my discovery, she took pictures. I would not get close enough to be included in them though. he he he
I know for your "delicate" human readers, this was all T.M.I.. for your "fur fans" it will be just fine. he he he

♥玮倩 said...

What an interesting post (: It get me to know more abou to you ^^

best regards

Celebrity Gossip said...

Thanks for sharing the things you do. It will be a great to have a pet like you.

La Belette Rouge said...

I love this post and I am so borrowing the format to reveal the details of Lily's life. Thank you, Henry!!!!

Henry the Dog said...

Kenzo - dear god Rex, that sounds hot. I'm glad I'm being the perfect role model for you:)xx

Diane - yes - that was mum's reaction to it, only slightly more of the 'ick'. I also think that no matter how big the dog, we sometimes forget that we're not pups anymore xx

Frankie - mum will pass that on but her pal is one of those sensible down to earth types. She'll not fall for any scams. As for the bear poo - I am SO envious. I would love to have a sniff at that:)

Vodka - you stopped by. How are you, cutie? Mum simply adores you and it makes me all jealous. She says that you're so cute she could eat you, but not really of course. She loves your ears especially. Big hugs to you xxxxx

Celebrity - why thank you. And thanks for stopping by. I won't forget my original fans when I'm REALLY famous;)

La Belette - why not? I borrowed it from Stubby. I really look forward to reading about Lily and her likes and dislikes. I bet she's developing into a right little character.xx

Ruby Isabella said...

Humans are so sensitive about eating, rolling and running around with certain things. Like you Henry, I do the best I can.

Parisgirl said...

£10 Henri? You are selling yourself short. Economic crisis or no, as a celebrity you should be telling her you won't get out of bed for less than £100...a day.x

Jennysmith said...

Brilliant Henry, one of your best so far. You deserve a pat - but not on the head obviously.

Like my cat, (sorry!) , you have to obey your instincts even if it is with something disgusting that you probably don't even like yourself!!!

What a classy celebrity you will be - are. xxxxx

Henry the Dog said...

Ruby - they can be real spoilsports sometimes can't they?

Parisgirl - £100? Would that make me a millionaire? I can only count up to ten, anything after that sounds like loads, and loads. Actually, loads and loads sounds good, doesn't it? I think mum would like to be loaded:)

Jennysmith - thank you, you are too kind. I think I'll be a classy celebrity too. Not like that Paris Hilton chappie. Or is it a lady? I forget.

Lisa said...

Poor Henry! I hope your tummy is feeling better by now.

(I don't like grapefruit either, but I guess it would be better than something dead.)