Mum & Uncle Hugh are going back to the UK, but not permanently. Not yet anyroad. They’re going back for two weeks every month starting in March, because they’re running out of plastic and Uncle Hugh needs to sort out his assets (whatever they are – I’m just repeating what I heard).
They talked about it lots and lots yesterday and I found it REALLY boring after a bit. I tried to distract them by stealing their socks, beating my basket up and rolling on my back in a cute fashion, but they simply ignored me. Here’s me trying to distract them:
Here's me being bored:
What is it about you humans that you have to talk about stuff ad nauseam? Why can’t you just take a decision then move on? Life’s too short. Mum was saying
“It could be really unsettling for Henry, spending two weeks every month at the kennels. What if he becomes institutionalised?”
Mum, it’s not a PRISON, it’s James & Jane. I have fun with them. I get to “Hang out with mah bitches. Innit!” (I don’t know what ‘Innit’ means but it sounds cool).
At the kennels, I get to meet other dogs. I hardly ever meet other dogs here – other than Claude the Yellow Lab (who’s got issues) – and that isn’t very often. I’m starved of doggy company. However, when I’m at the kennels James & Jane let me mingle with lots of lady dogs and it is GRRRREAT! I had a ‘harem’ of six the last time I was there. I was in heaven. They were all fawning over me and commenting on my hairy chest. I felt as big as a Great Dane.
They don’t let me mingle with men dogs because I can be aggressive. Mum says I’ve got “Little Dog Syndrome” I don’t know what that is, but I don’t think it’s catching. Fifi, a cute lady Yorkshire Terrier I met last time said I should sign up for “Anger Management” classes. Cheeky madam! Zoë, another cute lady dog who was part of my ‘harem’ said I had too much testosterone. I don’t know what that is either but it didn’t seem to bother her. She was a terrible flirt and wouldn’t leave me alone. It was fab!
So, you see. I’m not worried at all if it means me spending more time with James & Jane over the next twelve months or so.
Mum was talking about taking me with her when she goes to the UK, but then decided it wouldn’t be practical. I wouldn’t mind going to the UK, as long as we don’t ever go to that Rotherham place. I think I’d rather self-harm.
Here is a little clip of me having fun with Uncle Hugh (It’s short, Lee). Mum says some really stupid, obvious things to Uncle Hugh like “Is that your slipper?” When you see the clip, you will know how inane that is. But as I said before, she’s blonde (and she doesn’t know how to take her voice off these recordings). I also think she’d probably had a few too many glasses of that grape juice. Uncle Hugh is in his ‘jim jams’ by the way – they aren’t his going out trousers. Just thought I’d clear that one up before you start thinking he might be a hippy.