Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mum's going back to the UK

Mum & Uncle Hugh are going back to the UK, but not permanently. Not yet anyroad. They’re going back for two weeks every month starting in March, because they’re running out of plastic and Uncle Hugh needs to sort out his assets (whatever they are – I’m just repeating what I heard).

They talked about it lots and lots yesterday and I found it REALLY boring after a bit. I tried to distract them by stealing their socks, beating my basket up and rolling on my back in a cute fashion, but they simply ignored me. Here’s me trying to distract them:

Here's me being bored:

What is it about you humans that you have to talk about stuff ad nauseam? Why can’t you just take a decision then move on? Life’s too short. Mum was saying
It could be really unsettling for Henry, spending two weeks every month at the kennels. What if he becomes institutionalised?”

Mum, it’s not a PRISON, it’s James & Jane. I have fun with them. I get to “Hang out with mah bitches. Innit!” (I don’t know what ‘Innit’ means but it sounds cool).

At the kennels, I get to meet other dogs. I hardly ever meet other dogs here – other than Claude the Yellow Lab (who’s got issues) – and that isn’t very often. I’m starved of doggy company. However, when I’m at the kennels James & Jane let me mingle with lots of lady dogs and it is GRRRREAT! I had a ‘harem’ of six the last time I was there. I was in heaven. They were all fawning over me and commenting on my hairy chest. I felt as big as a Great Dane.

They don’t let me mingle with men dogs because I can be aggressive. Mum says I’ve got “Little Dog Syndrome” I don’t know what that is, but I don’t think it’s catching. Fifi, a cute lady Yorkshire Terrier I met last time said I should sign up for “Anger Management” classes. Cheeky madam! Zoë, another cute lady dog who was part of my ‘harem’ said I had too much testosterone. I don’t know what that is either but it didn’t seem to bother her. She was a terrible flirt and wouldn’t leave me alone. It was fab!

So, you see. I’m not worried at all if it means me spending more time with James & Jane over the next twelve months or so.

Mum was talking about taking me with her when she goes to the UK, but then decided it wouldn’t be practical. I wouldn’t mind going to the UK, as long as we don’t ever go to that Rotherham place. I think I’d rather self-harm.

Here is a little clip of me having fun with Uncle Hugh (It’s short, Lee). Mum says some really stupid, obvious things to Uncle Hugh like “Is that your slipper?” When you see the clip, you will know how inane that is. But as I said before, she’s blonde (and she doesn’t know how to take her voice off these recordings). I also think she’d probably had a few too many glasses of that grape juice. Uncle Hugh is in his ‘jim jams’ by the way – they aren’t his going out trousers. Just thought I’d clear that one up before you start thinking he might be a hippy.


French Fancy said...

FIRST - I'll make it quick so I don't get overtaken

French Fancy said...

See what I did there - smug icon needed.

Oh Henry, what can I say? Needs must and lots of clichés like that. Two out of four ain't bad (wasn't that a song?). I know mum will miss you so much though. Misty and Poppy are veteran travellers through that tunnel and enjoy being fussed over in the UK but I guess every month would be a bit draining.

I love the clip. Misty and Poppy have a thing for slippers as well. In fact when I go out shopping I have to put the 'ones with the shower caps on'upon the table so that they are left intact. Talk about new-car syndrome, that's me with those M&

xS slippers. Just think - your mum will be able to browse M&S in person now. Lucky cow!

Parisgirl said...

Henri, I agree with French Fancy; lovely clip and lucky Mum. But what about your diary? I know you're a very clever dog but who's going to help you post if you're Mum and Huge are away? I think your fans need to be told. x

J Cosmo Newbery said...

How's she going to get there? Not flying, surely?

Do they still let people swim the channel?

Dumdad said...

Henry, you'll have to go to typing classes so you can continue writing your blog on your own. I look forward to reading all the steamy details of you and your harem.

Henry the Dog said...

FFancy - I know that mum will miss me, but that means I'll probably get very spoiled when we spend time together. She'll also miss walking me, which is her favourite thing. But, as you say, needs must. Yes, she says she will enjoy wandering around M&S again (Henry yawns). By the way, I think us small dogs tend to like anything to do with feet - perhaps it's something to do with being so close to the ground?

Parisgirl - you think mum helps me now? You must be joking. She's rubbish when it comes to computers and stuff. James & Jane are online. I'm hoping to sneak on their computer from time to time and keep up with my blog;)

J Cosmo - swimming is out. Mum hates water. Mum will be going Ryanair. No more Uncle Hugh Airways.

Dumdad - Me? Typing classes? (Henry gives a gallic shrug and says 'Phuh') You must be kiddin. I can type with my eyes closed. It'll be fun writing about my antics at the kennel - it could turn into a 'soap' "Chenil Street".

Robert said...

Henry - I thought you looked as though you'd gone a bit strange in that clip. But then Robert told me that I behave in a similar but even sillier way - sometimes even without a slipper!

So what are these kennels things? I wouldn't want to leave MY owners, even for a short time. I don't like them going out for a little time (a few minutes, Robert calls it, but I think a minute must be a BIG piece of time). But then again, I've gots lots of doggy pals around here. Now I'm getting older (my owners tell everyone that I'm 7 months old now), I've started to notice those girl dogs. Their bums smell nice.

Bye for now - Blaze (with Robert's help).

meryl's musings said...

Keep us posted on how this all works out. Henry, your adventures with Mum and Uncle Hughie are always interesting. And, Mum, my landlord wishes you the best. KC

French Fancy said...

So will Uncle Hugh be in the flying van or is he also going to hand over the reins to a Ryanair captain?

I am glad you'll still be able to blog though - if you get any spare time with all those bitches after you

Braja said...

Oh Henry I DO love your photos!! Your "distraction" attempt is adorable, but the raspberry in the sidebar takes the cake :))) xoxoxo mwah!

Ruby Isabella said...

Henry, surely Mum will buy you a lap top to post your adventures with the French lady dogs whenever you want. Did they really ignore all of your cute antics? Is it possible.

Dog_geek said...

Wow, Henry, you sure look like you know how to have a good time! It's so cold here, I can't fathom going outside to play wearing my jammies and one slipper - kudos to Uncle Hugh!

Frankie Furter said...

Grrrreat clip of your exercising your folks. Fresh air is so good for them, isn't it. I like to move my mom's socks about, too. Keeps her on her toes (he he he) looking for them. I would not like to go to that kennel place though. I wouldn't be sure those people would take me to my writer meetings and play practices like they should. licks & wags

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I noticed that Uncle Hugh was clever enough not to lose a drop from his glass! Well practiced!

Henry, I just love that pose of you looking bored and trying to distract your mum! Sometimes adults need to have serious conversations; It's not all fun, slippers, food and harems - But perhaps you've got the answer to life after all?

Good luck Henry's mum!

Anonymous said...

Hi Henry!

So you're going to get a two week vacation and be around lady pups! Woohoo for you!

I know I haven't posted much lately, but I have stayed up to date w/your posts. Will you be posting while at the kennel? I get a short vacation soon, too. I can't wait! I get to go away with my fiance - yay! I just got engaged on the 9th. And life has gotten so busy I haven't even been able to update my blog. I'll have to get to that!


Lisa said...

How adorable you are! I understand why you want to be around other dogs sometimes because we humans can certainly be boring compared to dogs who like to chase and play and chew.

So you're a bit of Napoleon? I think it adds to your charm, somehow, but then I have a thing for short men, too.

Henry the Dog said...

Blaze - it's what mum calls a 'Crazy Dog' moment. Sometimes I simply run round and round in a blur. It makes me feel soooo good. The kennels are where I go for my hols, when mum has to be away. I've been going since I was a pup, so I'm used to it. I don't mind being on my own either - from time to time. Doesn't bother me one jot. In fact, it makes a nice change sometimes to have my own company:) And yes, you're spot on. It's good to sniff the occasional lady bum don't you think?

KC - I'll definitely keep you posted, but first there's my big holidays coming up too - when mum and Uncle Hugh go away for a while. I'll be telling you all about life in the kennels.

FFancy - it'll definitely be Ryanair for mum and Uncle Hugh - it's cheaper:)

Braja - mum likes the 'Raspberry' pic too. It's her favourite:)

Ruby - they have a computer at the kennels - it'll be easy to sneak onto it from time to time. James and Jane sometimes let me run around their own home - they know me so well. And yes, they DID ignore me. Unbelievable, but true xx

Dog-geek - it's been bloody freezing here too, honest. But we had one mild day last week - that was it. Saying that, Uncle Hugh never feels the cold, not like mum. He'll sit in a T-shirt whilst she's rugged up and shivering in about ten fleeces.

Frankie - yes I agree, fresh air is good for them - gets some colour to their cheeks. The kennels I go to is brill. It's 'home from home' for me. They aren't all as good as the one I go to. I'm lucky.

A Woman of NI - Uncle Hugh has had many, many years of practice at drinking grape juice. He's an expert. And what do you mean it's not all 'fun, slippers and harems'? Have I been getting it wrong all this time? You mean that there's MORE to life?;)

Kathryn - we've just posted our contratulations. We're both really happy for you. I hope Tenshi is too. xxxxxx

Lisa - why thank you. You're a mighty fine looking woman too, if you don't mind me saying (I won't tell mum, she'll get jealous). Mum's been following your blog rather avidly lately, she says it's been very entertaining, but she says it's not always for a little dog's eyes. I have no idea what she means, I'm just repeating;) But she says keep it up.

Diane said...

Does this mean we'll have to go through 2-week Henry withdrawals every month for a while?! No! Say it ain't so!

PS... you're so cute!

~Marie~ said...

Henry you are too cute! Soundsl ike you have a blast at the Kennel. And it sure did look like you did your best to distract your mum and Uncle Hugh.

I hope this doesn't mean that for two weeks you won't be post anything.. I really enjoy reading your blog.

P.S. Peanut says hi!

lady jicky said...

Oh Henry , life can be so difficult but the great thing is - you know and love the kennels you go to and all those lady dogs ... Rosie would have been so jealous !
I am glad you have a computer in your room and I do hope things get better for Mum and Uncle Hugh - the little I could see in your wonderful video - your spot in France looks so pretty that I would hate to leave!
P.S - Can't stand old "pucker chucker" Jamie - I think his tongue is too bit for his mouth too! LOL

Lee said...

You're a little cutie in distraction mode, Henry!

Juliet Colors said...

Henry, you are so adorable! I hope you have fun at your kennel with your lady dog friends. And I hope your mum doesn't have to endure too much work talk when she's in the UK. The French way of doing things seems far more pleasant.

La Belette Rouge said...

Henry you need a blackberry/palm pilot for when you are in the kennel. You need to post about life in the kennel. Lily says she cannot take two weeks without you. You are the only dog she knows.

LadyFi said...

Oh - Henry! You and your hairy chest makes me go with at the knees!

So sorry to hear about your mum's plastic troubles - I think it has something to do with the credit crunch, not surgery...

My Oscar has his very own slipper to run around with. Being a retriever he just has to run off with things in his mouth.

Braja said...

I loved the little vid which I only just got to really taught that shoe a thing or two, and I laughed like your mum did when you kept running past Uncle Hugh and did another lap of honor :))

Your mum has a lovely laugh by the way....and I laughed again when I read LadyFi's comments about your hairy chest. BTW, you'd do FINE with the hot oil treatment: your coat would SHINE!!!

Henry the Dog said...

Diane - no way. I'm hoping to keep you updated with my antics at the kennels - imagine all those new friends I can write about?

Marie - say hello to Peanut too. No, as I said to Diane, I'm hoping to keep blogging when I'm at the kennels. I should have lots to talk about.

Lady Jicky - change happens eh? Mum thought it was too good to be true when she first moved to France. She had a feeling that something was lurking around the corner - it usually is. xxxxx

Lee - so sweet of you to say:)

Juliet - sadly mum's going back to the UK merely for work. She wouldn't go back for any other reason. She'll be back doing stuff she hates, but it'll be for Uncle Hugh so she just gets her head down and gets on with it. C'est la vie eh?

La Belette - I will definitely keep posting. Also,we need more pics of Lily please. I loved the one of her with her head in that box, and the vid of her tugging that toy. She is such a sweetie. Mum always follows your blog. She loved the post about your dad, but she says that sometimes your blog is a bit 'adult' for a little dog, and it wouldn't be right for a little dog to comment sometimes. She just wants you to know that she never misses a post xxxx

Lady Fi - hairy chests have that effect on mum too. I think that's why she's with Uncle Hugh:) Oh Slippers! I adore them. Mum's are better 'cause she has stinky feet, but she won't let me play with hers. She's more strict than Uncle Hugh is. Oscar's a lucky chap. I'd love my very own slipper xxx

Braja - yeah - I killed that slipper dead, didn't I? I showed it who's boss. Albeit that it is nearly as big as I am. I like it when mum's laughing. When she laughs, Uncle Hugh laughs and I laugh. To be fair. She laughs lots my mum, even when she's a bit sad. I'm still not convinced about that hot oil thingy but I can tell mum would LOVE to try it. She's nodding enthusiastically right now:)

Mickle in NZ said...

Hello dear Henry - lucky you have scuh a great time at your kennels. Zebbycat isn't too keen on going to his cattery, yet the humans there really like him because he is a gentle, wussy, purry smooch who loves getting cuddles. (I love his cuddles and purring too, even at 3 in the morning!)

I hope everything works out okay for Mum and Uncle Hugh. Tell your Mum to leave her voice on the little clips you share with us - she has such a happy voice.

You sure killed that slipper. Have you managed to get the other one yet? And the raspberry shot is just great - Mum is very clever with her new camera.

Care and huggles, Mickle (Zeb is very busy snoozling on our shared bed)

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Brilliant - just popped over for a few mins to read your blog. Very entertaining and such a good read. Don't fret Henry - keels are holiday camps for dogs!

French Fancy said...

Sometimes I imagine going back to work. I used to love my job and even though when you work you imagine how good life would be without going to work, when it happens then it can come as a bit of a shock. that's one of the reasons I started the OU degree - to give me some sort of structure and also to give my brain something to think aout that mattered.

Anyway Henry's mum - good luck with going back into the workplace

Henry the Dog said...

Mickle - I think Zebbycat has the life of Riley (whoever that is). I reckon he is one lucky cat sharing your bed. Mum will be fine. She always is. xxx

MOB - thanks for popping by. I agree by the way. Kennels are great fun. You humans should give them a try. Mum thinks they should open kennels for kids so that their parents can have a break:)

FFancy - mum has never had a job she loves. That's her dream. Mum would love to do something more creative. She'd also like to teach English to French folk, but Uncle Hugh says he needs her doing stuff for him in the UK. I think mum should have been born a dog. It's so easy being a dog xxx

Jennysmith said...

So H, your mum's coming back to where she belongs. Thats great. You sound like you don't mind at all. well, welcome back in advance.

H, you look so cute rollin' over on your back. that would certainly distract me! Better than all that waffling on stuff.

lovely clip of you, H. xxxxx

Darkchocolate said...

cool blog. I will be back :)

Blu said...

Henry you look so fit, what a nice video of you. Wishing you all the very best Blu xx

Henry the Dog said...

Jennysmith - I'm staying in France, mum's only going back 2 weeks out of 4, so it's not that bad. She's still living here with Uncle Hugh. I don't mind. I love the kennels.

Blu - I am VERY fit! You ask all the lady dogs who know me:) xxx

SSQuo said...

You naughty naughty thing, you're quite the casanova huh? :)

I look forward to meeting all your other pals. Good luck to mum and Hugh though on this new adventure.