Monday, January 19, 2009

Victoria Beckham loves me - official!

Move over David Beckham, I’m the new guy in Victoria’s life. It’s official. It has to be because Braja sent this photo to me, so it must be true.

I’m so excited I don't think I'll sleep tonight.

I’m so excited because if Victoria loves me, then I might be able to make lots of plastic for my mum to spend because everything is now, officially, “Totally fooked” in the UK according to mum. And that’s where all her money is. I thought it was “Totally fooked” before, but apparently last year was just the tip of the iceberg. Today everything went crazy and 19th January has proven to be the worst day in the history of the UK – so there you go Lee, those ‘Blue Monday’ guys were right after all – at least as regards the Brits anyroad.

SO! Considering that all things ‘brand’ Beckham seem to attract lots of money no matter what date it is, I reckon my future is assured. After all, hasn’t she just been paid lots of plastic to pose in Armani underwear? And didn’t hubby David do an Armani underwear pose too? Well, Mr Armani – what about me? How about Victoria’s favourite dog posing for Armani too? I’ve worn a 'baby-gro' for goodness’ sake – I’m not proud. I’d be quite happy to wear some undies. As long as you don’t tell anyone. I could go under a pseudonym. Any ideas?

Yes – this is the DREADED baby-gro that mum made me wear for a while in November when I was shorn too short in the cold snap:

No, I don’t look happy, but as I said – I’m not proud – if it means me making money for mum then pride be buggered! I don't mind selling out.
Bring on Armani. Bring on the Undies. Bring on the Beckhams!


parisgirl said...

Henri you are a natural...even in baby pink!

French Fancy said...

Henry - still in the pink onesie? I thought mum was getting you that Rambo one from Pet London.

Anyway glad to see VB has given up promoting her book and is holding your pic instead. it's looks loads better than her old mug any day.

Dumdad said...

Henry, don't forget your bloggy pals when you become rich and famous!

Irish Gumbo said...

Look at you, hanging out with the glam set! Champagne Charlie, for sure!

Ooh, I know: Call yourself 'Thierry Henry', that'll get you in with the footballers and the underwear ads. Smashing!
(although with a name like that, Becks may not be all that fond of you :)

(and the raspberry? Bless your litlle doggie heart, Henry!;)

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Henry, you have raised the street cred, and upped the class, of Sticktoria no end just by being seen with her, even when not in my favourite pink!

Seriously, the red carpet beckons - Expecting any film awards this year after your recent rolls (Groan...)?

Diane said...

That's the first time I could look at her without feeling ill.

And you are TOO CUTE in that little pink onesie... though I do think maybe blue is more your color.

Henry the Dog said...

Parisgirl - I agree - just WHAT did I do before mum got her digi camera?

FFancy - mum's full of good intentions. And yes, I agree with you - I'm much more appealing than Victoria - DID YOU HEAR THAT MR ARMANI????

Dumdad - I'd invite you all to a big party - free champers all round:)

Irish - you're a genious - what a good idea. Actually it would be Thierry HenrI - with the emphasis on the 'I'. As in 'Onree' and don't forget to vibrate your epiglottis when you say the 'rrrr'. As for the Raspberry - well, mum gave him the finger. Isn't she rude?:)

Woman of NI - 'Sticktoria'- hee hee hee, am loving it. And yes, the Oscars aren't far away - you have to see my clip of 'Crazy Dog', that'll get the awards rolling in - watch this space:):):)

Diane - I'm sorry you guys in the US ended up lumbered with them - the Beckhams - the majority of the folks in the UK were more than happy to see them go. Don't worry, they won't last forever:) And thank you. I do look cute, I admit. I've never been one for being modest xxxxxx

Stubby said...

Mom loves VB and DB and thinks that you look adorable in VB's hands! VB would be lucky to have such a cutie like you. You are sure to be an even bigger star than you already are - despite the dreaded baby-gro. Will you also be moving to the states like the Beckhams did? We would love to have you here.
Since you blew a raspberry to GWBush, maybe you can blow a kiss to Barack Obama tomorrow in celebration of the inaguration tomorrow.

Henry the Dog said...

Stubby - I think I look great with Victoria - bring it on..... If I did move to the States you'd be one of the first guys I'd look up. Believe me. As for Mr Obama - he has my blessing anyway. Anyone my mum likes, I like. And she was always 'gunning' for him, even though I don't really know what it's all about. Between you and me, this politics business goes right over my little doggy head:) x

Jennysmith said...

You're too good for her to be honest, H the D. She came from the same town as i did. And infuriated everyone when she said her school was in a slum - or something. Was that completely untrue or what?! AND, H the D, they got married in purple - i mean really, could you stoop to that?

Nice pic. its bloody freezing, h, you need something to keep you warm.

I'm sorry about your mum's "situation" - i think a lot of people are that thing she said.


Blu said...

Wow how exciting Henry. Underwear is a good thing to into?..well you know what I mean, people always buy it, so you are onto a winner!!!.....loadsa lolly.

Maggie May said...

fantabuloso, Henry!

Temple said...

No wonder PoshSpice loves you! It's not every dog that can pull off baby pink and still look so handsome!

Braja said...

Henry, you absolute doll! I am glad I managed to have to time to do a few things online before zooming off to Calcutta...seeing you in a Babygro is...well, it's an experience. I imagine it makes you cuddlier than ever. You should send that photo to Posh's people: she'll snap you up.

Love to you and Mum.

detroit dog said...

Henry, Posh must be in love with you because she saw your recent video (bet Becks can't wiggle like that!). Plus, you are just so dapper.

Your stage name (famous name) could be Henri Depardieu. What do you think? No one would know that you're slumming with the rich and famous, or the likes of Beck and Posh. They might think you are related to that handsome respectable actor.

Now modeling, that's a career for you. I used to know a woman in NYC whose standard poodles were on call for all kinds of magazines and what not.

Lucky dog!

lady jicky said...

Oh Noooooooo don't do it Henry!!!

Have you seen that woman? I tell you, first thing she would do is put you on a DIET.
Then - OMG , too much hair!! You would have to get a "all over Brazilian" oooo - painful!
Now if you think that pink babysuit is bad - have you seen what Posh wears and with a straight face too!
Finally - you would have to listen to the stick insect Sing!! There goes your hearing.

Only good bit would be kicking a ball around with Becks - that is when he has time for you between promo's, footy matches and sneeky girlfriends!
Nuh - stay with Mum and Uncle Hugh - forget the plastic for the only Plastic Vic knows is what is done on her face and I bet she would have a go at yours too!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Oh, Henry!

Lee said...

I hate to say it but I think pink's your colour.

Ruby Isabella said...

VB will regret that, won't she? Your charm and good looks completely outshine her. You need an exotic name. I live in a land far away which must make it exotic. A popular name is "Bruce." So how about "Bruce Barkham"?

~Marie~ said...

Oh Henry how exciting. And you may have not liked the baby gro, but I think you looked very cute.

Lisa said...

She has great taste in dogs, Henry!

Indrayani aka, Indi! said...

HENRY!! you are sooo cute!! :)

La Belette Rouge said...

You are a very posh dog, Henry, and if she was dumping Becks for a dog I am sure you would be at the top of her list. And, only the most masculine and self-confident men can carry off pink and you so make it work.

Henry the Dog said...

Jennysmith - too good or not. I wouldn't mind a slice of their pie. My little mind's been whizzing around for ages trying to think of a way to help mum so that she doesn't have to move back to the UK, but it's looking a bit ominous at the mo. If I can't get Armani interested because of my contact with 'Victoria', I might try to persuade mum to put me up as a 'stud' dog. It would be a huge sacrifice to make (Henry smiles sneakily) - but I'd do anything for my mom....;)

Blu - I think a special 'doggy range' would go down a bomb. Paris Hilton would snap it up for her little pooches, I'm sure.

Maggie May - well thank you! (Henry looks all coy). Mum says she loves your photographs xx

Temple - thanks for that - I too think that I still look rather 'macho' in the final photo. I'm wearing my 'I'm dead hard' look. As for the one on mum's knee - OH MY GOODNESS - I hated doing that, but I'm putty in mum's hands:)

Braja - I'm glad you found time to come online too - yeah, I just might send it to Posh's people. The other photos you sent me I am holding in reserve - I'm going to keep 'trickling' them out - keep them keen:):) Have a LOVELY holiday. xxxxxxxxx

Detroit - you are brilliant! Henri Depardieu - that is SOOOOOOO me. And mum really likes that actor so she's nodding in approval too. Hey, I could end up as a pin-up couldn't I? Imagine all those lady dogs drooling over my hairy chest. Way to go:):):) (Henry looks all happy)

Lady Jicky (Henry laughing so much he can't type)..........heee heee heee heee. You are so with a Brazilian? Oh no. Victoria singing? Oh no. Even worse....heee heee heee xxxxx

J Cosmo - stop it! You're simply making it worse. I know, I know, I said I'm not proud.......

Lee - DON'T. Stop saying it. You'll give mum even more ideas;)

Ruby - Bruce Barkham? That is SOOO funny. Now I'm torn between Henri Depardieu and Bruce Barkham. I suppose it depends which part of the world I'm touring, which hemisphere. Two names? Why not? Tis good xxxx

Marie - 'tis exciting - the thought of becoming famous. As for the baby-gro. Mum doesn't make me wear it now 'cause my hair has grown back, but as I said - I'm not proud. This Credit Munch is making me throw my ethics to the wind:)

Lisa - she certainly has;)

Indi - why thank you pretty lady xx(Henry blushes and looks coy)

La Belette - thank you. I think I still look masculine too. I'm glad you said that (Henry puffs out his chest and dons his 'mean and moody' look) xxxx

LadyFi said...

Oh - Henry! No dog should be humiliated by having to wear clothes! But if this was done to save you from getting frozen balls, then I guess it's OK!

You look cute in Victoria's picture (isn't Braja a doll for sending you that picture)... but I do so love you blowing raspberries at Mr. Bush!

Henry the Dog said...

Lady Fi - you must have been commenting at the same time as me. Mum bought the baby-gro 'cause she had me shorn REALLY short in November, then the underfloor heating went in the kitchen where I sleep, then we had a really cold snap and I was shivering. She said she didn't know what else to do. She doesn't make me wear it now. Yes, Braja is great isn't she and as for Mr Bush. I'm blowing raspberries and mum's doing something with her finger!

LadyFi said...

Good for Mum, Henry! I don't like the chimp either.

Stinking Billy said...

Henry, but...Victoria Beckham? I would have thought any self-respecting dog would have preferred somebody with a little more meat on her!

Mickle in NZ said...

Henry - Lady Jicky beat me too it, but please reconsider. You'd have to have an all over body wax - you know, they'd remove ALL your fur by having it ripped out at the roots.

By the by - your Mum had better come up with a steel gray coloured body suit or let you grow your lovely fur to its natural length over the winter months. Then she just has to give you a regular brush.

Zebbycat adores being brushed. Has trained me into a daily habit of it(er - several times a day). Means heaps less Zebby fur on the floor - Mickle loathes dusting and vaccuming type housework.

Huggles and care, Mickle and Zebbycat

Henry the Dog said...

Stinking Billy - now that IS funny:):):)

Mickle - you must be JOKING! My God Rex, but that would HURT. Oh! Is that what you women do? Oh no. Oh. The thought of it is making me wince. Brushing is bad enough - that pulls and makes me all whingy. I can't imagine anything worse than having someone physically yank my hair out. Between you and me, Mickle, I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to my fur. When mum tries to brush me I sulk terribly and go all moody - so she tends not to do it very often. When I get lugs, she simply cuts them out - I think she thinks it's easier than upsetting me. Then she sends me to this woman called Claire, eventually, who clips it all off and I sulk for ages after. xxxx

Henry the Dog said...

Mickle - PS: I don't shed. My fur just grows and grows xxxx

Frankie Furter said...

Henry, by all means you should persue any method that would bring more plastic into your mum's hands. Just be sure that she sets up a very nice allowance for you. You could join me in donating to other fur persons who are in need.

Lady J. requested a poem from me. I posted it for her on my blog.

I am very glad to hear that you are a Barak Obama fan, like we are on my hill. I hope that you and all your readers will wish him well.
You looked cute in that onesie. I just wish it had been a bit more macho color. he he he

Henry the Dog said...

Frankie - I think it is lovely that you give your time and money to less fortunate furry friends. I went to see your poem. It made me laugh out loud. Neat. Yeah, mum's excuse about the colour is that there was only pink available at the time. These local French supermarkets aren't very well stocked. Mmmm. I reckon she may be telling a little porky. (Sorry, for those who don't know - porky = lie. From cockney slang 'Pork-pie/lie')

herhimnbryn said...

I think you'd look a little better in some Calvin Kleins.

love Bryn

French Fancy said...

Oh Henry, I just read the comment to Jen - might a UK return be on the cards? Oh dear. Fingers crossed it won't happen but if it does, then new doors and horizons etc etc.


Henry the Dog said...

Herhimnbryn - definitely. Or at least Armani, surely???

FFancy - yeah, it's looking likely that mum and Uncle Hugh will be spending at least two weeks out of every month over in the UK starting the end of Feb (after their hols). They've been debating whether or not I'll suffer from being at Jane & James. I'm trying to send thoughts through the 'ether' that 'no' I won't suffer. They love me masses there and I have a good time. And anyway, it won't be forever. Probably a couple of years - max! That's why I haven't been around much this last day or two. Mum & Uncle Hugh have been doing serious Human Talking. Yeah. Change happens doesn't it? It won't stop them from loving me - that I do know. I just know that mum loves France so much, it's making her a bit sad xxx