Monday, December 15, 2008

Give me more 'Man Things' - and I'm SHOUTING OUT too

I got inspired today by some of my blogging pals. I’m doing a double post. I’m going to do a Happy Christmas SHOUT OUT – think that’s how I should write it – in capitals – to show that I’m shouting. Then I’m going to ask you guys about ‘Man Things’ because I was inspired by some comments left on my previous post. I honestly thought that Uncle Hugh was the only man with this condition (see previous post below) but it seems not. Now I’m itching to know what other ‘man things’ there are out there.

So here is my Happy Christmas SHOUT OUT – (I hope there aren’t any hard and fast rules for this – if there are then bugger them – anyway, I’m a dog so rules don’t include me)

I want to SHOUT about some bloggers who have really inspired me, made me laugh, taught me stuff and made me cry in equal measure. I can’t possibly list all of you because I’d be here all day so I thought I’d choose four, cause four’s my lucky number.

Firstly, to the wonderful Braja who told me about SHOUT OUTS. She is just lovely, has a wicked sense of humour and her blogsite kept mum entertained all day on Saturday when she should have been doing Uncle Hugh’s laundry. It’s funny and fascinating – go back to the beginning of her blog and find out about her fabulous experiences in India.

Then there’s French Fancy . You’ve GOT to read the post on 4th December about her wonderful dad. It’s one of the loveliest posts I’ve ever read. I love French Fancy ‘cause her comments make me laugh and she reminds me of my mum. I’ve never met her but I have mentally, if you know what I mean.

Then there’s A Curates Egg. Lee has the ability to be at times poignant, deep, funny, sharp, dry and naughty. He’s obviously got a good brain – which is what mum always wanted but never had, until she met Uncle Hugh – so now she has one by proxy, so to speak.

And finally, but it’s not finally – because there are so MANY others out there that I love and visit nearly every day if I can. Anyway, finally for me ‘cause I’ve limited myself to four is Diane. There’s an earthiness about her, which also reminds me of mum. She has a great way of looking at life, and she’s back after a few days' break. She is DEAD funny. Hello Diane, in case you’re reading.

Right – on with the post. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT OTHER ‘MAN THINGS’ THERE ARE. I want to make a big list.

Until I posted yesterday, I thought it was only Uncle Hugh who had what mum calls ‘man things’. But I found out that there are others.

For starters

1. Taking forever to find the right spot to poo (that's my personal 'man thing' according to mum, but I know other man dogs have it too). Mum says "Here we go again - searching for the hallowed ground")

2. Refusing to ask directions when lost.

3. Dropping wet towels on the floor instead of putting them back onto the heated towel rail,

4. Taking off socks and then smelling them.

5. Pretending to be dying when they wake up with a sore throat. Called 'Man Flu' (Parisgirl gave me that one)

6. Leaving the bathroom floor resembling a swimming pool after taking a shower (a French man thing apparently - Parisgirl gave me that one too)

(Parisgirl - I can’t include all of yours because my mum is guilty of the ‘restaurant’ one and she’s a girly)

7. Grumbles that there is no food when there is tons.

8. Leaves drawers and cupboards open in the kitchen (those last two given by Detroit Dog)

(Detroit Dog - I can’t use the other two ‘cause mum is guilty of them:)

I have remembered two more ‘man things’ that get on mum’s nerves

9. Hogging the TV remote control

10. ‘Flicking’ channels mindlessly when the adverts come on.

I'm trying to make a big list, 'cause I find it funny and interesting - then perhaps we'll do a list of 'women things'. But that might be VERY VERY long.


Blu said...

How about ..never ever putting DVD's or CD's back into their cases. Never ever having the right or enough screws or nails.

Lee said...

LOL! The word verification is 'dogwelog'!!

Anyway, thank you for shouting out.

Re the 10 issues:

1. Nope.

2. Maybe. I much prefer to ‘see’ where I am going. I like to look at a map and visualise it. Verbal directions go straight out one of the ears, possibly both.

3. Nope.

4. Maybe…

5-8. Nope.

9. Hate the thing. Use it an then throw it onto the couch. Unfortunately it often then bounces onto the floor and looses its batteries under the couch.

10. Never, Never, Never. I detest looking for the best of the worst.

Anyway, time to type in 'dogwelog'...

Henry the Dog said...

Blu - yep number 1 is definitely a 'man thing', as for the screws and stuff - Uncle Hugh doesn't even know how to USE them so he simply doesn't have any:)

Lee - are you kidding me with the veri? That is COOL. Actually, I didn't really expect you to fall into this 'man thing' category. You're not what mum or me would class as a 'typical' guy. Trust me, that's a compliment:)

lady jicky said...

Its the hogging of the remote boyfriend that sends my Mum into a spin plus he puts the volume up so!

French Fancy said...

Oh Henry, thank you for my shout. We (the bichons and me - and probably Mr FF if he ever had time to blog) feel the same way about you and your mum (and probably Uncle Hugh if he ever etc etc)

Re man-things - I've got to go with Blu on this. That was the thing that made me actually lose my temper with the wonderful Mr FF - he never used to put DVDs or CDs back in their covers or, if he did, it was never the right cover. We had a 'sit-down' about it (just like Tony Soprano does) and we discovered that he hates me asking him to do things when he first comes out of the basement office, before he's had a chance to relax. So now I don't ask him and he puts CDs away - you've got to train them, I say and let them think you'll change a bit too.

Oh, don't I go on...

meili_lo said...

hmm... selective listening??? using the word "huh?" or "what did u say?" or "can you say that again?" - even my 3 year old son does this! can u believe it! :o)

by the way, Henry - Lee has a message for you here:


Lady Fi said...

Other 'man' things:

- Scratching their private parts, and adjusting the willy to the correct side (either right or left side).

- Touching their privates, usually while walking a man's walk right past women.

- Smelling their armpits to see how badly they smell.

- Not 'seeing' whacking big crumbs on the table or floor and thus not wiping them up, after assuring the woman that, "Of course, I've cleaned up in the kitchen!" Luckily, that's what you dogs do best!

-Taking everything so LITERALLY.

- Peeing on the toilet seat.

- Not putting down the seat so that you end up with a cold, damp bottom in the middle of the night.

French Fancy said...

Henry - go and check out nikki crumpet's dogs - they've got santa suits on. they're not as dognified at you :)

(you might have to mute first though, can't remember if it's a music blog or not - I'm on permanent mute these days)

Diane said...

Hello Henry! I am reading :) and catching up on all I've missed while on my sickie break. Thanks so much for the SHOUT OUT! I like being compared to your mum... I expect I'd like her quite a bit!

Braja said...

Henry, honey, I'm sorry: I sent a comment HOURS ago but it obviously didn't go thru. I just didn't want you to think I'd been neglecting you.

I left a comment in NikkiCrumpet's comments for you also: actually in your defense. Don't worry what that "other" dog of hers who isn't a Mini Schnauzer says.

We love you.

Braja said...

btw Henry, when your mum comes home from work, ask her to check my Hall of Fame list in the sidebar....

detroit dog said...

Oh, boy --- more MAN things!

1. All food is made better with ketchup.

2. Must have exact addresses for directions (none of this "get off the freeway, hang right, go 6 blocks and turn left, it will be the 4th house on the left across the street from the swing set in the park")

3. Cannot visit doctor for annual checkup

(So many others were already mentioned: the bathroom swimming pool, wet towels on floors, sore throats leading to death, etc.)

Henry the Dog said...

Rosie - yeah, that remote thing can get out of hand can't it? I promise if we ever got together I wouldn't hog it - we could have one each:)

Meili - hey I like that one. What do they say? 'Like father, like son' or something like that

Lady Fi - oh I'm laughing so hard. I am LOVING your list. You make me laugh BIG TIME. You ain't no lady sweetie:)

FFancy - it's ok, I'm on permanent mute too - I only switch it on when there's something I want to listen to. I checked that Schnauzer out. He's one handsome chappie. Mum has been threatening to dress me in a Santa hat on Christmast Day, so watch this space;)

Diane - lovely to see you back. Hope you're well girl. You're worth shouting about xx

Braja - I know, I saw crumpets comments. I don't mind - us Schnauzers aren't everyone's cup of cha. Some other dog types are very jealous of us, 'cause we're smart, handsome and we don't shed so we're cute all year round. Mum and me checked out your Hall of Fame. THANK YOU THANK YOU. That's even better than having my pawprints outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre or my own Star on the Walk of Fame. I am honoured and feel muchly humbled xxx

Henry the Dog said...

Detroit - we must have been posting at exactly the same time. I am laughing SO much, because Uncle Hugh is EXACTLY number 2. Mum says if he wouldn't be so 'man' about asking directions he wouldn't need such precise instructions. It drives my mum to distraction. He would be number 3 too, except that he has to otherwise he couldn't have his flying car.

CSquaredplus3 said...

"Taking off socks and then smelling them" is a man thing? Oh dear. Please don't tell me "spitting and/or blowing one's nose in the shower" is a man thing too...

Pat-pat sweet Henry,

PS: Mary sends her best.

detroit dog said...

Oh, yes, blowing nose in shower, flossing while walking around the house. I'm embarrassed to mention more. (And you don't even want to hear about me!)

BTW, the hubby often says "I only drive like this when you're in the car!" ha. blame it on me!

Stubby said...

Henry - farting in public or at the very least, in front of Mom, needs to be on the list. I, unfortunately, am very guilty of this and why not? I am a man, aren't I?

Simplicity said...

It's all girls here. You're right...the list is loooooooooooooooooooong for Women Things!

Henry the Dog said...

CSquared - the socks one is supposed to be but between you and me, I've seen mum do it - but don't tell anyone. Kisses to Mary too - one cool bitch:)

Detroit - that's a new one to me - flossing whilst walking round the house. I guess that's not so bad - some tasty bits could fall on the floor. As for the driving thing, that can't be a 'man thing' cause it's what mom says to Uncle Hugh:)

Stubby - I think these humans make much too much fuss about bodily functions. They should simply get on with it like us dogs do and not get all uptight.

Simplicity - I've decided not to start it - I reckon it would go on, and on, and on, and.....

French Fancy said...

oh Henry, only two hours left for your poll.

Henry the Dog said...

FF - watch this space:) But don't get too excited!