Friday, December 12, 2008

My mum sometimes growls at big dogs!

You might not believe me, but in this part of France where mum and me live people don’t walk their dogs. Honest. I’m not kidding. Not once have we ever met another dog walker whilst we’ve lived here. Instead they let their dogs out to wander around alone. The local folk actually think it quite quaint that mum takes me out every day, and mum is now known as “the woman who walks the dog”. I’ve heard her say to Uncle Hugh “...I know they think I’m a sad bastard, especially when they drive past me and it’s bucketing down with rain and the wind’s howling around me. They look at me as one would look at an injured puppy…”

Mum wouldn’t DREAM of letting me go out on my own and between you and me - I’d not really know what to do if she did.

I’ve never been anywhere on my own. I can’t imagine walking without mum. Goodness knows what trouble I might get into. Take cars, for example. Sometimes I’m so engrossed in a nice smell I only know that one’s coming because mum instructs me to ‘Stay!’. So I freeze, which is what I’m programmed to do, and suddenly a car’s shooting past and I’d never even heard it before then. Sometimes there are some really good smells in the MIDDLE of the road where something has been squashed and I can spend ages having a good sniff at it. Imagine if I were on my own? Imagine if mum wasn’t there to drag me to the side of the road when a car is coming? I’d end up squashed too, wouldn’t I?

Usually we walk where there aren’t any cars and I can wander around without the lead, but we generally have to go on a road to get there.

In the UK, we used to meet lots of other dog walkers – that’s when mum found out that I had a few issues. The main one being what mum calls ‘littledogitits’. I call it ‘let me get to the bastards’. What she doesn’t realise is that some big dogs (and it’s only big dogs, not big bitches) put my hackles up because they give me that ‘look’ which says “Hey small fry – come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough…” so I have to show them who’s boss. Uncle Hugh says "..if he got his oats from time to time perhaps he wouldn't be so aggressive..." I don't know why he says that. I've no interest in oats. Oats are for horses. What have oats got to do with aggression?

Anyway, I’m digressing. I was telling you that they don’t walk their dogs around here – instead they simply let them out to wander around. It’s only a problem if the dog wandering around happens to be big, and a dog. Mum thinks she has to protect me from them, so she carries a big stick around with her wherever we go. She doesn't realise that I don't need protection - she should be protecting them from me!

It makes me laugh ‘cause mum reckons I’m aggressive, but you ought to see her when we end up face to face with a dog like Pierre, the local Mastiff/Rottweiller cross. He’s often wandering around barking and if mum would just leave me to it, I’d sort him out - but no. She tries to put me behind her then she bares her teeth, growls really loudly, shakes her stick and starts charging towards him – still growling. He runs like the clappers (and so would I if I were confronted with that) and I’m left in hysterics, hardly able to move I’m laughing so much. Then she says “My goodness, Henry. I truly hope nobody ever sees me do that, they’ll think I’m a nutter. I’ll end up with the nickname ‘the woman who growls at dogs’. Don’t tell anyone

Don’t worry mum, I won’t:)

23 comments:

Dumdad said...

Your secret's safe with me too.

meryl's musings said...

Mum, I'm glad Henry has you to protect him. My landlord has to keep me on a leash also because I've been known to have "dietary indiscretions" since we live close to the woods and big fields. Just can't help myself.

Lee said...

Not a word will pass my cherry pink lips. Promise.

Mary said...

I love reading things from Henry's perspective.

French Fancy said...

At least I now know it is not just Brittany that this happens in. I hate seeing dogs taking themselves for walk here.

I've got to tell you that I originally had pink suede leads for the bichons with rhinestones on and Mr FF used to wonder what the local Breton men made of him walking two little white fluffy dogs around.

SSQuo said...

Spill the beans and face mum's growl? No way!

CSquaredplus3 said...

That's an adorable story. I love that Henry *laughs* - I think Mary laughs too...

Charmaine said...

Hi Henry,

I have a German Shepard next door that needs an attitude adjustment...wanna come over?

I dunno why my blog isn't updating or as some folks say, my reader isn't working.

The only thing I did was add the followers gadget. You're a dog, and likely, more technologically sophisticated then I.

detroit dog said...

Quasar says:

Henry! I love to read what you have to say! Problem is, though, if that we were to meet in person, on first impression I'd probably think you were one of my big stuffy squeaky toys that look and sound just like those cute little animals I was paid to run around the track after.

Good thing my Mom walks me on a leash! Good thing your mom growls!

Henry the Dog said...

Dumdad - cheers mate. Nice to see you around again.

KC - I can imagine what those dietary indescretions are - yum yum!

Lee - I'm sure you can be discrete;)

Mary - sometimes it helps to look at things my way - it stops some folk from getting a tad too serious.

FF - yes it's another one of mum's pet hates. I chuckled mightily when I thought about Mr FF walking the bichons with their diamante leads. Oh my! I think it's probably for the best that he didn't know what the Breton guys were thinking of him:)

SSQuo - I know. She can be very scary when she wants to be. She used to growl at me when I was a pup and doing something she didn't want me to do. I soon stopped, I can tell you.

Mary - of course dogs laugh - surely you've seen yours laugh before now? I give Uncle Hugh a big grin too, when I want to play.

Charmaine - I'm a match for any dog - what's your address? And you must be joking about the technical stuff. I've only just worked out how to insert photos into my post. Mum is even worse than me.

Quasar - yes, unfortunately I don't look disimillar to the fluffy things you used to chase. I can run fast, but not that fast!!

Alen4ik Litvinenko said...

I have totally become addicted to this blog.. I love your stories!!! :)
I have a fluffy girl running around my house too, ops i think she would get offended by that, I should say a sexy shitzhu...by the way Kvadrapusik... look forward to more posts...

Braja said...

Henry if you wanted to go anywhere on your own you just come here and I'll treat you real good. You'd be like a God Dog. I love you and thank you for being one of my followers, which is something really neat dogs are good at. You rock. Woof. Pawprint.

Sandra said...

your funny :)

Henry the Dog said...

Alen - my mum adores shitzhus - there's a little one lives in one of the houses near us. She's a gorgeous little thing. I think I've fallen in love, actually. Mum calls her my girlfriend and it makes me blush.

Braja, you're cool. Mum and me love your blog. Us dogs are loyal too.

Sandra - cheers sweetie:)

Stubby said...

Mom says it is totally irresponsible for people to let their dogs run wild. I am lucky to have a big backyard that I run around in, but Mom and Dad take me for walks too. I am always on my leash when I am out walking, because just like you Henry, I get very preoccupied. I sniff everything when I am out, even if it trys to sniff me first. I agree, that if I was on the streets without my leash, I would be squashed like a pancake, which I love to eat, but do not want to become :)

lady jicky said...

Oh boyfriend , stay on the leash. before I was adopted into my new family here I used to live with another lot in Sydney. Well, I have bad hearing and eyesight probably from a car knock for I used to escaped down this busy road to just get something to eat from this friendly lady. I will have these probs for life, so boyfriend tell your Mother to "work it" with the French, they sort of like eccentric people - look at Karl Lagerfeld - and who would wear anything really by John Galliano!

Grrrrr,
Kisses, Rosie

Braja said...

Morning, Henry. I just thought I'd say hi and throw you a bone, kinda thing. In an electronic way. I think you totally rock and would like to go doggie dancing with you.

Henry the Dog said...

Stubby - we live in a very rural part of France - mum says it is like the UK used to be before World War II. There isn't much traffic to be honest - the odd car now and then and the local village is really sleepy. They simply haven't jumped into the 21st century yet - part of the appeal I guess - but there are so many dogs wandering loose - a little boy got pulled off his bike only a month ago, but the locals don't seem to think it's a problem:(

Rosie - yeah they definitely think mum is eccentric for walking me. As for designer gear - mum's designer gear at the moment is a pair North Face boots and a North Face goose down puffa jacket:)

Morning Braja - now that's something to consider - a 'virtual' bone. I've never had a real one - mum won't let me. I've never danced either, but I've watched mum do it when Uncle Hugh's in the UK and she thinks that nobody is watching - now that's a funny thing - mum dancing. Just visited yours and I reckon mum wouldn't like Calcutta, she isn't so keen on beggars either - check out my post on 20 September.

LadyFi said...

Oh Henry - here are some virtual treats for you. I enjoyed this post!

I wouldn't let my dog walk by himself either, although to tell you the truth, it would be very convenient so that I wouldn't have to go out in the snow and minus temps. (I'm an expat Brit living in Sweden of all places!)

My dog is big and sweet and very scared of little dogs as they are always trying to boss him around... In fact, he's afraid of all male dogs - even though he is a former stud dog and has had oats from time to time...

Princess Tikka Masala said...

I am thinking that you are being a bigly sized dog that is being contained in a smally sized body. Is this being the case, Henry who is the dog?

Simplicity said...

Henry I have no doubt in my mind that you would be able to take on any of these rogue rottweillers, but your mum is allowing you to use your energy for other things...like stopping to smell whatever's in the middle of the road for example! :)

Temple said...

Henry--Braja told me you were cute, but you are just adorable!!! I think my Lola the Wonder Corgi has a new internet crush!!!

Henry the Dog said...

Hi Lady Fi, thanks for dropping by. I went to yours and had a look at Oscar and he's just the type my mum will swoon over. She's got a soft spot for labradors, I'm ambivalent to be honest, I sometimes wonder if they're kinda lacking in the grey matter (as some big dogs are)then again, I'm being taught French by a fat yellow Lab called Claude, so I'd better not say too much. Hope you drop by again soon:)

Princess - my mum would definitely agree with that. To be honest, I had no idea I was small until I happened to look in the mirror one day. It was a shock. Until that point I'd always thought I was huge.

Simplicity - as I've said before, I'm a match for ANY dog, but I can't help myself when it comes to sniffing something interesting.

Temple - gosh, I'm getting all shy. I must go and have a look at Lola. I'm kinda partial to Corgis. Hope to see you again soon.