Sunday, December 7, 2008

What's your 'pet hate'?

Actually, just looking at the title to my post, I think I should re-word it. Mum says ‘hate’ is a very strong word that it is used too often. Mum doesn’t like it, so I guess I shouldn’t use it. And I’m a pet, and pets are cute – so ‘pet hate’ kind of feels wrong. I guess I mean ‘what niggles you?’ or ‘what gets on your nerves?’

With me it’s when people scoop their dogs’ poops. Mum doesn’t like it when people DON’T scoop poops but it gets on my nerves when they do. I mean, how on EARTH are us dogs supposed to know who’s hanging around if we can’t have a sniff at each others’ poops? That’s why I like France.

Another thing that really niggles me is when mum doesn’t eat all her dinner and then SCRAPES IT INTO THE BIN! Why oh why doesn’t she give it to me? I know other dogs who get their owners’ leftovers, but not me. No. What a waste.

Another thing that gets on my nerves is graffiti. I don’t get it. I also don’t understand why they are called ‘graffiti artists’. I don’t know what’s artistic about someone’s obtuse message sprayed in three foot letters on the wall of a beautiful 400 year old building, which is what happens a fair bit in the ancient little town close to where we live.

Quite a few things niggle mum. Particularly when she’s driving. Mum doesn’t like it when people drive too close to her back bumper, and they do that a lot in France. She hisses under her breath “STOP KISSING MY ARSE”. Mum doesn’t like folk who drive at 50kph in a 90 zone. Mum doesn’t like folk who can’t maintain a constant speed. Mum doesn’t like folk who overtake her then cut her up when they pull back in. Mum doesn’t like folk who don’t use their indicators. Basically, mum doesn’t like French drivers. Uncle Hugh calls mum ‘intolerant’, which makes mum shout.

Another thing mum doesn’t like A LOT is when people throw their litter around. She calls them litter louts. When we lived in the UK after we’d been for a walk, her pockets and her rucksack would be bulging with stuff that she’d picked up along the way. Then there are folk that she called “fly tippers”. I don’t know why. Maybe they had flying cars like Uncle Hugh has. Anyway, the countryside in the UK is lovely, but these “fly tipper” folk don’t seem content with that – it seems that they’re only happy if there is an old mattress or an old cooker or an old fridge or an old sofa or lots of black bags or old toys or tyres or something else dumped on it.

Also, in the towns in the UK, there used to be these bins for rubbish and stuff, but whenever mum and me went into town I noticed that the bins were virtually empty and all around the bins, on the ground, there was always lots of rubbish. I used to see people throwing stuff on the ground quite a lot. Perhaps they didn't know what the bins were for.

In France, people are content with having the countryside as it is, they don’t need to litter it to be happy, and the bins in the towns are full of stuff, instead of it being on the ground. The funny thing is - in the UK, whilst they don’t put rubbish in bins, they do put dog poo in them. Bizarre isn’t it? Putting the good stuff in the bin and leaving the crap hanging around. Only in the UK I reckon.

Mum doesn’t like “litter louts” and she says that if she were in charge she’d make sure that “..they were disembowelled by a blunt, rusty knife and then hung slowly by their entrails until dead..” I may be wrong but in my view that seems a tad extreme. I know mum’s in charge of me, but I’m kind of pleased that she’s not in charge of the world.

What niggles you?

26 comments:

Blu said...

That is my favorite "pet hate"..LITTER BUGGERS..However sadly they do throw litter here in France. I have often picked up Cigarette cartons and water bottles in the forest. One day I watched a French boy tearing up paper and throwing it as he walked along a street. Bottles are thrown into the ditches too. In the Uk if I saw a litter lout dropping choccie wrappers I would give it back to them.!!!

lady jicky said...

Evening Boyfriend. I am with you with the poo situation but ...now this is secret and lets just hope that bloody Lee isn't reading this , but my Mum carries a plastic bag but she does not "pick up" - just for show boyfriend! LOL
Otherwise , its the Graffiti so called artists she would like to nuke! Oooh, does she hate them.
Put down that spraycan Henry and lets run off down the street and read some "pee mails" left on the trees!
Kisses, Rosie

French Fancy said...

I totally second all the things that mum put, Henry and I third the littering.

Now I also hate lots of things - my, there's a surprise. When I used to travel on the London tube and then the Winchester to Waterloo train I used to hate the tinny noise coming from people's (then it was) Walkmans. I would usually ask them to turn it down and only twice did someone actually turn it up - bastards!

I hate dogs chained up out here but I won't go on about that again; I hate scuffed shoes that need heeling - I take shoes quite seriously and ruthlessly throw mine away at the (almost) first sign of wear. However I've got some that I've had for years because I Look After Them. (Mr FF would roll his eyes if he could see this - he thinks I can be a bit 'precious- - but I don't know what he means)

Lee said...

Wow, Henry! You must be a very diplomatic dog to walk such a tight line with your Mum. I do agree with your Mum, that 'hate' is a very strong word.

What niggles me? Such a broad question, Henry! Stupid advertisements and the stupid people who fall for them. People who tell me I am wrong because I don't follow their religion. People who leave their car indicators on. Politician generally. Sports and sportsmen generally (though I will sometime watch a little cricket). The death penalty. Hypocrisy. Blogs with music. That will do.

Lee said...

(I'm watching you two up there!)

Henry the Dog said...

Blu - we are lucky in this part of France, littering isn't much of a problem. Talking of giving it back to them, when mum lived in the UK a farmer friend of hers who kept having rubbish dumped in his gateways once found some that had old utility bills and other things in it with the address on and promptly gathered it all up onto a trailer and dumped it back onto the drive of the culprit. Apparently they were very unhappy but also very red-faced.

FF - you sound as if you've got as much tolerance as my mum:):) Uncle Hugh is also very precious about his shoes and you two would definitely get on in that respect. On the dogs chained up thing - mum's with you. Another thing she hates is seeing them in cages too, which is fairly common over here. Won't go there, otherwise there will be no end to it:(

Rosie - yes, lets nuke graffiti artists and have a night peeing together:)

Lee - oh I forgot that's another of mum's HUGE dislikes - this religion thingy. Mum doesn't like being dictated to on that score and thinks it isn't fair that her life is often compromised by other folks' religious beliefs. Not on, in her view and not fair. Blogs with music - yep, am with you there. I have my computer muted at all times and only put the sound back on when there's something I want to listen to.

Lee#2 - STOP IT YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL SPOOKY.....AND I DON'T BELIEVE IN 'SPOOKY'

French Fancy said...

Yep, got to add my voice to this:

I hate organised religion - in fact the whole god/allah/whoever myth really makes me cross

and

I don't like blogs whose music makes me quickly try and find the mute button

Blu said...

Stick my head above the parapet? I do actually like some Graffiti( a Greek word I believe).

I also dont do blogs with music with the exception of the Woolly Shepherd's but I switch it off as soon as it starts playing. haha.

Sadly I also agree about religion, it has caused so much suffering and trouble for so long.

Henry the Dog said...

FF - the problem with the human race is that they've created god in their own image and with human traits - some of which are awful. I shouldn't be telling you this but he's actually called God Rex, he is much too sensible to insist that we dogs preach about him, he's really kind and unjudgmental, there is NO hell and he simply sits back and lets us get on with it without interfering.

Blu - it's all a matter of taste isn't it? Mum's the same with art. She likes this stuff called 'cubism', whereas I think it's horrid. At least us lot live in a society where we are still allowed to voice our opinions.

Henry the Dog said...

To everyone - by the way my mum has NOTHING against anyone who is religious. And neither have I. She is very accepting of everyone. Accordingly, she expects people to be as accepting of her too, and her beliefs - or lack of them. She's like me in that she wishes that everyone everywhere could simply be nice to each other. I think that this comment is grammatically crap, but I hope that it's got the message across

Shannon Jacobyansky said...

Hi this is Klara the cat. What get's under my claws...o that is #1 one for sure...because my mom removed my best weapon for humans...now I resort to biting when those germ infested beings get to close to me.

I must say, why wouldn't you like to clean up after yourself. It is disgusting that you would rather your humans leave your waste to rot away. My humans clean up after me every time I do the nasty deed. They even give me something that appears and feels like sand to do my business in...a box of sorts.

Check out my picture on my mom's blog and you will see what I really hate...when the humans decide to dress my up like Mrs. Clause...you know Santa's wife. Baaa humbug!!!

meryl's musings said...

My landlord starts her day laughing and reading your blog to Hunks. Here in the states, they are going to now say "stop kissing my arse" too so that means my car rides are going to be so much more interesting. Thanks, Henry!

Daisy said...

Definitely with your mum on the littering Henry, she makes a good point. Although perhaps a little extreme on the punishment! What niggles me...Hmmm... um, the face that French people make when they hear my accent is a little irritating. But I'm working on a good line to snap them out of it...

Just Another Day In Parrotdise said...

The African Grey Parrot says: I hate it when people keep trying to pick me up when I've already ruffed my feathers and put my head down at them... and then they get all bent out of shape when I have to bite them to get my point across! I am a "pet", and so I guess that makes this a "pet hate".

Diane said...

Henry, I'm with your mum 100%. And Lady Jicky, tell YOUR mum not to carry poo bags just for show! I know people who do that and I want to smack them (especially when I step in their dog's poo!!! Grrrrrrrr).

Henry the Dog said...

Klara - sorry, but I had to laugh at that - you don't look very pleased with your outfit:) As for the poopy bit - we dogs are different from you cats. We NEED to sniff each others poop. It's a basic instinct we cannot surpress.

KC - I'm glad my blog helps to brighten Landlord's day:) Yours is fun too.

Daisy - I thought that 'face' that French folk make is a inherited thing. I thought is was something they have no control over whenever they hear a Brit speak. Mum gets that 'look' too.

Just another day - I can imagine that being uncomfortable. Folk just don't think do they? I don't like it when folk pat me on the head. How would they like being slapped on their skull? The top of my little head is quite sensitive. It makes me want to bite them. Tickle my chest, but DON'T pat my head.

Diane - mum grrrrrs too when she steps in poo - there is a lot of it on the streets in the town near us. Mum once stepped in some whilst she was wearing her open-toed sandals. The words that issued from her mouth I had never heard before....or since!

detroit dog said...

Quasaar says: Mom won't say what "niggles" her because she says she'd need to start a whole other blog for it. So I'll say what "niggles" me at the moment: snow. That's right, snow. It snowed a couple inches here yesterday and mom and dad expect me to "go outside" in it! Being from the south, I've no idea what this is and why they expect me to walk on it, much less go romp in it. Now when I stand at the door refusing to go touch the stuff, they have to literally pick me up and put me out in it. All 67 pounds of me! Cruel, I tell you. And so cold. No one in Florida wanted me, so here I am in the industrial north, where I guess there is going to be snow at least 4 or 5 months of the year! aaarrrggghhhhh.

Parisgirl said...

Henri they do litter in France. In Paris there are litter bins on every corner and yet I still see people chucking their rubbish on the street. it disturbs me most when it's children throwing stuff. My pet hat in France are too many to mention but I'll make a start:
a) motorists who drink/drive, jump red lights, drive on the pavements or the wrong way up one-way streets.
b)motorcyclists and bicyclists who do the same.
c)people who don't poop-scoop especially when their dogs foul the school run.
d)people who are rude when you are trying to buy something from them ie keep them in a job.
I agree 'hate' is a strong word, but I do hate the first two because they threaten our lives every day.

lady jicky said...

Diane - I am waving my plastic bag "hello"!
Its better to leave it on the lawns than to put it in plastic - in the landfill it goes and never rots down!
While we are at it - I am not happy about all the disposible nappys sold. Why can't women use cloth ???

Dog is God spelt backwards - think about that............ Rosie

Henry the Dog said...

Parisgirl - of course, you are right. I think every large city has very similar problems to the next one - no matter what the country. Littering where we live in France, however, is minimal at the side of what it was like where we lived in the UK (in the country but close to a large town). The town was awfully bad - particularly with discarded chewing gum - I used to think that the pavements were decorated with 'polka dots' for aesthetic reasons:) As for your 'pet hates', mum and me are with you 100%

Ladyjicky & Diane - no 'handbags at dawn' on my blog please:)

Rosie - us dogs know the truth don't we?

Henry the Dog said...

Quasar - you poor thing - you have hardly anything on your bones to keep you warm. Bless. I hope you're getting plenty of extra food for fuel. Mum's started feeding me a bit of supper in this cold 'snap'.

Anonymous said...

Hello Henry. At least you didn't include cats in the things that niggle you. I was named Lunette because I am half black and half white, like the moon. Things that I don't like are canned cat food. I eat only canned tuna made for people, turkey (white meat only) and Temptations snacks. What I really dislike is when my parents leave the house without me. I let them know how much I dislike being alone by shredding papers and boxes. They usually put everything away that I can get my claws into, but sometimes they forget.

Please tell me you like cats ---because even though I am an 'older woman' I think you are very handsome.

Kathryn said...

Ah Henry, what a fun topic! I think for me, I'm with your mum on the driving thing. I do disklike when people drive ridiculously slow, especially when they're in the fast lane. I also cannot stand it when people don't pick up their dog's poo. I've now had two pair of shoes ruined by dog poo that owners have left behind. I now carry extra bags and give them out freely when I see people who don't clean up.

As for my Tenshi, he's with you . . . why don't I just give him what remains on my plate when I'm done eating?! :)

Henry the Dog said...

Lunette - I hold my paws up and say that there have been (many) times in the past when I've been a tad scathing of you felines. But, hey, there are exceptions. I mean, most labradors are dim, but there are exceptions. So I'm quite happy for you to hang around my blog as long as you don't shred anything and I'm sure you're beautiful - that's one thing most cats have in common:)

Kathryn - I can imagine you've caused a few red faces by handing folks bags for their dog's poo when they've failed to scoop;)

Stubby said...

Hey Henry - I hate it when people don't pet me - does that count? As for Mom, she HATES littering. This is her biggest pet peeve (no pun intended).

Henry the Dog said...

Stubby - yes I think that counts. I like folk to pet me too. I like 'pet peeve' that sounds better than 'pet hate' I think I'll use that in future