Monday, December 22, 2008

I've got a big crush


I have to admit, I have a crush on the lovely Braja. I know it’s stupid because she’s a lady, and even if she were a dog she’d probably be an incredibly sleek and beautiful Saluki like the one pictured here, and wouldn’t give me a second glance. (Actually, since I posted this Braja has told me that her 'inner' dog is a Mini Schnauzer - how cool is that? (Henry smiles broadly and looks rather smug))

I wonder why people have crushes? And why do they have them on folk who are impossibly out of their reach? Like really famous film stars? My mum said that when she was a young teenager she had a hopeless crush on a celebrity called John Travolta. Not only did he live in the US (so there was no chance mum would meet him as she lived in a council estate in Yorkshire) but at that time he was keen on much older ladies. Nowadays she’s not too keen, I remember her saying to Uncle Hugh “…my god he’s so not my type anymore, you couldn’t pay me enough…” I didn’t quite understand about the paying bit (paying her for what?), but it’s obvious he no longer floats her boat.

These days I reckon there aren’t that many celebrities who would float her boat. These days mum reckons that the calibre of celebs – particularly in the UK – is very low How to become a Celebrity in the UK. However, I do know she’s quite keen on that Alexandra lady who’s just won X-Factor – she has a lovely voice. But mum hasn’t got a crush on her ‘cause mum’s a lady too and I know that ladies don’t fancy ladies. Do they? I know that men can fancy men – they’re called 'gay' because they’re happy – mum has friends who’re gay. She went to their wedding. But ladies don’t fancy ladies. I don’t think they do anyway. I’m rambling aren’t I? And I’m digressing. Big failing of mine.

My mum still has folk she looks up to. I wouldn’t say she idolises them. But there are folk who she would like to emulate – like Braja the yogi. The trouble is mum can’t get up early (Braja gets up at 3am – yes! 3am), mum needs a caffeine fix, she can’t do more than four AFDs (Alcohol Free Days) a week, and even though she has now stopped eating baby cow I know for definite that she’ll be having Turkey on Christmas Day. Also, I’ve done some googling and seen all those positions folk get into when they’re doing yoga and there is NO WAY IN A MILLION YEARS that mum could strike poses like that. Mum can’t even touch her toes. Mum’s quite fit, but she is NOT supple.

Going back to celebrity folk, they have a huge responsibility don’t they? Kids and other folk look up to them, want to emulate them, literally idolise them so when they do bad things it could have a bad effect.

If I were a celebrity I would make sure that I lived a faultless life. I’d limit my Fingers of Fun* to twice a week, I’d definitely reduce my consumption of Haribo Jellies and definitely wouldn’t consume them in public – because I wouldn’t want little pups thinking it was cool to eat sugary stuff and get hyper. I’d be nice and polite at all times, I’d not ‘do drugs’ (no idea what that is but I’d not do it), I’d give lots of money to charity and I’d do lots of charitable work too.

Thinking about it - I guess I could do charitable work now because I’m not exactly rushed off my paws am I? Mum reckons I spend most of my day sleeping. But if I did charitable stuff that would mean me spending time away from home and mum, and I wouldn’t like that. I guess it’s easier said than done, isn’t it? Good intentions - I’m full of them, but I guess it’s better to be full of good intentions than bad ones.


* For those who're new to me – Fingers of Fun is when Uncle Hugh dips his fingers in wine or beer and lets me lick it off.

31 comments:

LadyFi said...

It's not easy being a celebrity, that's for sure. I don't really like what it seems to do to people anyway.

As a parent, I have to be a bit like a celeb as I have to set a good example for the anklebiters: which means that I have to do as I say and not just expect them to do what I say...

Lee said...

Your Mum is lucky to be able to have a crush on somebody. If I tried it I would get a smack on the ear and be sent to my kennel.

LadyFi said...

Tis I again! I forgot to tell you that ladies can like other ladies and they even get married. My boss is married to a project manager at our work - and they are both women.

Just goes to show that we can't let ourselves be too limited by our pre-conceptions or upbringing.

Braja said...

Actually you know what Henry? You're so wrong. I know, it's possibly not polite to say that to you, it's your blog after all. But you see, here's the honest truth: if I was any dog at all I'd be a mini schnauzer, and I'm not just saying that because you're one. Actually one of the reasons I like you is because you *are* one. I like them best, and always wanted one. Truly. As for those salukis? I have never seen one of them but they look like one of those posh dogs that no one can touch, only look at, and what's the use of that? They look a bit stuck up to me. I'd rather be a mini schnauzer any day: they're fun and cute and everyone loves them :)

As for crushes, I don't get them either. I never really had a crush on anyone, though when I was a teenager I pretended to so that my friends didn't think I was weird. But I actually didn't. No pinups, nothing. I can't think of anyone famous I've had a crush on either. It has to be someone I know. And then, well...it's not a crush then, is it? It's just "I like you." :) And I do like you Henry :)

meryl's musings said...

Henry, my landlord said you can have a crush on me because then it would be a mutual admiration society from across the ocean. Even if I am a girl, or at least used to be. They just call me an "it."

Henry the Dog said...

Lady Fi - you are funny. And I think you're so right about anklebiters and being a parent and all that. It's a big task isn't it? A huge responsibility. As for ladies fancying ladies, thanks for putting me straight on that. I did think that if there are men who like men, then there has to be ladies who like ladies - only natural.

Lee - mum doesn't have crushes anymore. That was when she was a teenager. I've got the most wonderful vision of you being clipped round the ear and sent to your kennel. Love it;)

Braja - you've made my day saying that. Seriously. You've made me feel special. Thank you. I think everyone has a bit of specialness in them but we don't always recognise our own do we? I guess I wouldn't want a Saluki as a girlfriend either. I like folk I can touch too. And by the way you can say whatever you want on my blog, I'm not precious.

Henry the Dog said...

KC - you must have been commenting at the same time I was. I reckon we could have a mutual appreciation society too. The Henry & KC Fan Club - 2 members. You and me:)

Henry the Dog said...

Braja - I've had an awful thought. I hope I haven't upset you by saying that if you were a dog you'd probably be a Saluki. I don't see you as 'posh' or 'aloof' at all. It was meant as a compliment - in the doggy world they are also considered more spirity than your average mutt. That's why they make me think of you. If I thought I'd offended you I really, truly would go off and commit 'harakiri':(

Braja said...

Henry, my little lovely, no offense at all...I mean, I'm quite tall so I guess you pictured me right. I'm not skinny-minny but my husband always says I'm "elegant," but I think I'm just a show off, so I possibly am a Saluki. It's just that my "inner dog" is a mini schnauzer :))

Braja said...

And I think you're absolutely precious, Henry, but only in the good sense of the word :) Big hugs xoxo

Irish Gumbo said...

'Fingers of Fun', hmmm, oh my, that's how my first girlfriend in college snagged me...

Crushes are weird, Henry, but humans in general are weird. As a young lad I had crushes on people like Kate Jackson (see http://irishgumbo.blogspot.com/2008/12/goddess-belly-on-your-knees-boy.html); as an older fellow it was lovelies like Halle Berry and Laetitia Casta.

I know they would probably never go out with a chap like me (the restraining order says so!), but better to fail big than not try at all, yes?

And for some reason I was visualizing Braja as a jaguar, don't know why...

French Fancy said...

Yes, crushes really are inexplicable aren't they. Especially when one is older and has come to one's (oo, get her with her 'ones') senses. I must admit to having had a crush on (whisper) Michael Ball and also Laurence Llewellyn Bowen. I love their speaking voices - well, in the case of Mr Ball - I love a perfect tenor.

Mr FF sometimes teases me when either of them appear on something I'm watching and do you know what - I start to blush.

detroit dog said...

Ah, Henry, you have good taste in doggies -- though I must say that I've yet to see an unattractive dog and I do find them all precious.

However, I once took an online test and found out that my inner dog is a pug! Totally floored me. I'd always hoped to be that saluki.

(BTW, try Bikram yoga if you like to sweat.)

Henry the Dog said...

Irish - I'm closing my doggy ears to that one about your first girlfriend, it's making me blush;) I read your post about Kate Jackson. Mum wanted to be like her when she was young but her 'blondeness' got in the way of things. Love the gag about the restraining order - I'm presuming it IS a gag!!!!!!!

French Fancy - yeah, I think they're wierd. My mum's pal in the UK has a thing for that Mr Laurence guy (can't pronounce the rest of his name). Mum recently had a crush on Jeremy Clarkson - PLEASE don't tell anyone she'd KILL me if she knew I'd told you. Only I know that one. And she's rather partial to that Mr Alan Sugar guy. I think she's into the 'weathered' look at the moment. Neither of them look like Uncle Hugh.

Detroit - I agree, all dogs are fab, but those Saluki's (Henry whistles dreamily) they are to die for. As for pugs - nothing wrong with a pug - my girlfriend Rosie is a pug and she's as cute as....
PS: I don't like to sweat!

Henry the Dog said...

Braja - I'm seriously relieved. I honestly saw you as 'elegant' - that's why I pictured the Saluki. But the inner dog is what really counts isn't it? And if yours is a Mini Schnauzer, I reckon we'd have a good laugh together. xxxxxxxxxxx

Stubby said...

Henry - Mom told me that everyone used to have a crush on John Travolta when they were young. He used to be on a tv show and then he made a disco movie. Mom still loves disco, but is not a fan of John Travolta anymore.
My only crush is on food - I admit I have an eating disorder :( Mom doesn't really have crushes, she has obsessions.
Speaking of charitable work, I used to do animal assisted therapy when I was a little guy. Mom would take me to nursing homes to sit on peoples laps and cheer them up. I loved it because I got lots of pets.

Diane said...

I have to admit that I liked John Travolta, too, and though he still seems quite nice (when he's interviewed, anyway), my tastes now run to Gerard Butler (oh my!). He's lovely. But as a rule, I stay away from crushes, as they don't seem to serve much purpose, do they? Though I expect, Henry, that were I a dog, I'd have a bit of a crush on you, as you're lovely as well.

I do agree with LadyFi about the whole parenting thing. I remember hearing 'do as I say, not as I do' a lot when I was growning up and I always thought that wasn't very fair. So I try to always do as I'd like done by my little girl... seems the most logical way to go about raising children, to me, anyway :).

lady jicky said...

Oh boyfriend you are a Celeb! You have a fabulous and well read blog of your own and you have "hot chicks" like me sending you kisses!!
As for "crushes" - lets face it boyfriend you run rings around John Travolta - he wears a wig and you don't! LOL
Kisses,
Rosie

Temple said...

You are in great company--who isn't crushing on Braja these days? ;) I won't tell Lola...

Simplicity said...

I think most of us are crushing on Braja - she's quite interesting, isn't she!?

As are you and your mum!! I enjoy reading your stories so very much!

As for crushes, I've only had one crush on a celebrity and his name is on my blog...not quite incognito, am I? I figure there's no chance of meeting him and I'm OK with that! One of the reasons I like him is because he seems down-to-earth. And I'd rather not find out if that's not true!

Henry the Dog said...

Stubby - what a lovely little fella you are - what a nice thing to do, I bet you brightened lots of folks' lives.

Diane - you are simply too sweet and I reckon you are so right about parenting. My mum never had kids but she's in awe of folks who have because she says it's an enormous responsibility that she'd be terrified of shouldering. It's good parents who keep the world turning.

Rosie - you are THE BEST. Yep, I guess I have my own little fan club now don't I? Keep sending the kisses I'm lovin' them xxxx

Temple - I can have more than one crush at one time - look at Rosie and me. Us dogs aren't particularly mondogamous;)

Simplicity - thanks for the compliment. My mum and Uncle Hugh brought the first Prison Break Series after reading your blog. I think mum's got a soft spot for him too. She says he's got dreamy eyes but that he's a bit young for her. Bit young for what? I don't get it.

French Fancy said...

I've come back again to say sorry I missed the panda -although I have left my mark their now. I don't know how it could have happened.

French Fancy said...

me again - Wentworth - Prison Break - Miller recently 'came out'. what a waste, ladies, don't you agree? He is simply beautiful.

French Fancy said...

back to say of course I said ' their' instead of 'there' as a deliberate error. To see if anyone noticed :)

Henry the Dog said...

FFancy - I've just googled 'came out'. That means he likes men. That means he's gay. I wondered why mum said "bloody typical, it's always the most gorgeous ones" when she was reading your post.

Henry the Dog said...

I guess I should also apologise for typing 'brought' in my message to Simplicity instead of 'bought'. Tsk Tsk. This pesky grammar:(

Dumdad said...

To Henry and your pets:

Joyeux Noël!

DCup said...

If I think of crushes, it's in broad terms. It's more an affection for than a desire for.

In which case, Braja is very crush-worthy. And you, Henry, are too. You're adorable!

Just don't tell the surly cats who live with me. They wouldn't grasp the nuance.

Henry the Dog said...

Dumdad - and of course a happy one to you and your pups and your big bitch xxx

DCup - why thank you. You're a sweetie too. Don't worry, I won't say a word to your cats. I know how they can be;)

Virginia S. Wood, PsyD said...

Merry Christmas, Henry!

Rosie used to sort of do charity work--she went to the office with me and even to school a couple of times to demonstrate how smart dogs are. I really miss her!

Io will be starting to go to work soon, too.

So you could do your charity work with your Mum--just get yourself certified as a therapy dog, and off you go!

Henry the Dog said...

Virginia - trouble is, I can't speak good French yet and that's all they speak over here. I wouldn't understand what all those folk are saying. I'm working on that with Claude the Yellow Lab. I've always steered clear of having to do work before but if I could help folk, that'd be different. You seem like a really lovely lady:)xxx