I told the very lovely French Fancy that I would blog about my addictions – five of them in fact. At first, I thought it would be a hard thing to do until I read about French Fancy's addictions and realised that an addiction isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In the past, when I thought of an addiction, the term ‘weakness’ trickled into my mind along with visions of drug addicts and smokers and such like. Then I read French Fancy’s blog. Then I looked in the Dictionary, where it says that ‘addicted’ means ‘1. dependent on something as a habit: unable to do without, or 2. devoted (addiction to football)’ yes, it did say football. That’s from the Concise Oxford 8th edition.
So with that in mind here are my five addictions:
MY MUM – I’m addicted to my mum because I love her to bits. She feeds me, exercises me, plays with me (sometimes), she’d kill anyone who tried to hurt me and she loves me too. The only thing is she’s horrid to me when I’m ill Mum's a Nasty Bitch (Sometimes). But that’s the only downside.
SMELLING – I love to smell things. It’s what makes me a dog. Dogs live through their noses and without a sense of smell life would be very one dimensional for us dogs. In fact, I can’t imagine life without one. You try it. Without smell, there’s no taste either. But you humans haven’t got anywhere near the capacity for smelling as us dogs have, so it’s hard for you to imagine. Close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hold your nose and breathe only through your mouth – I think that must be the closest you can get to what it is like for a dog who can’t smell. No fun.
FOOD – I love to eat. I’d eat anything, even the really smelly, rotting stuff, but mum’s strict and only lets me eat my Royal Canin or treats that have her prior approval i.e. REALLY BORING ONES. Thank goodness for Uncle Hugh. He’s a very messy eater and drops lots of food on the floor when he’s eating. Mum says he does it on purpose and no matter how innocent he tries to look, she never believes him when he says he doesn’t. Also, she always knows when he has been feeding me sweetcorn, even when he does it behind her back. I sometimes think she’s got ESP or something.
FINGERS OF FUN – that’s when Uncle Hugh dips his two fingers in his beer or wine and lets me lick it off. Mum shouts at him for doing it, but he doesn’t do it very often and it is only two fingers. She should lighten up. I’m hardly going to turn into a brawling, vomiting binge drinker on two fingers am I?
BLOGGING – of course. My new addiction. I never realised how enlightening, educating, amusing and moving some of the blogs out there can be, or how lovely the blogging community is. I have to be careful sometimes because there are some bloggers who think it beneath them to respond to a blogging dog. They think it stupid. But that’s their prerogative. Also, I tend not to comment if the blog or a specific post has a sad or very serious message, because they might think that I’m being facetious – being a dog and all that. It’s difficult. Through my blog, I’m trying to get you humans to look at the world from a slightly different angle – a dog’s eye view of life – because sometimes looking at the world in that way and the things that are going on in it can lighten the load, make you smile or stop you from taking yourself that bit too seriously. Or, you can think, “No, that blogging dog is a prat, this blog is stupid and I’m not coming back here.”
So there you go. My five addictions. Thanks French Fancy, I quite enjoyed doing that.
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