Thursday, December 4, 2008

My Addictions

I told the very lovely French Fancy that I would blog about my addictions – five of them in fact. At first, I thought it would be a hard thing to do until I read about French Fancy's addictions and realised that an addiction isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In the past, when I thought of an addiction, the term ‘weakness’ trickled into my mind along with visions of drug addicts and smokers and such like. Then I read French Fancy’s blog. Then I looked in the Dictionary, where it says that ‘addicted’ means ‘1. dependent on something as a habit: unable to do without, or 2. devoted (addiction to football)’ yes, it did say football. That’s from the Concise Oxford 8th edition.

So with that in mind here are my five addictions:

MY MUM – I’m addicted to my mum because I love her to bits. She feeds me, exercises me, plays with me (sometimes), she’d kill anyone who tried to hurt me and she loves me too. The only thing is she’s horrid to me when I’m ill Mum's a Nasty Bitch (Sometimes). But that’s the only downside.

SMELLING – I love to smell things. It’s what makes me a dog. Dogs live through their noses and without a sense of smell life would be very one dimensional for us dogs. In fact, I can’t imagine life without one. You try it. Without smell, there’s no taste either. But you humans haven’t got anywhere near the capacity for smelling as us dogs have, so it’s hard for you to imagine. Close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, hold your nose and breathe only through your mouth – I think that must be the closest you can get to what it is like for a dog who can’t smell. No fun.

FOOD – I love to eat. I’d eat anything, even the really smelly, rotting stuff, but mum’s strict and only lets me eat my Royal Canin or treats that have her prior approval i.e. REALLY BORING ONES. Thank goodness for Uncle Hugh. He’s a very messy eater and drops lots of food on the floor when he’s eating. Mum says he does it on purpose and no matter how innocent he tries to look, she never believes him when he says he doesn’t. Also, she always knows when he has been feeding me sweetcorn, even when he does it behind her back. I sometimes think she’s got ESP or something.

FINGERS OF FUN – that’s when Uncle Hugh dips his two fingers in his beer or wine and lets me lick it off. Mum shouts at him for doing it, but he doesn’t do it very often and it is only two fingers. She should lighten up. I’m hardly going to turn into a brawling, vomiting binge drinker on two fingers am I?

And finally…..

BLOGGING – of course. My new addiction. I never realised how enlightening, educating, amusing and moving some of the blogs out there can be, or how lovely the blogging community is. I have to be careful sometimes because there are some bloggers who think it beneath them to respond to a blogging dog. They think it stupid. But that’s their prerogative. Also, I tend not to comment if the blog or a specific post has a sad or very serious message, because they might think that I’m being facetious – being a dog and all that. It’s difficult. Through my blog, I’m trying to get you humans to look at the world from a slightly different angle – a dog’s eye view of life – because sometimes looking at the world in that way and the things that are going on in it can lighten the load, make you smile or stop you from taking yourself that bit too seriously. Or, you can think, “No, that blogging dog is a prat, this blog is stupid and I’m not coming back here.”

So there you go. My five addictions. Thanks French Fancy, I quite enjoyed doing that.


French Fancy said...

Yes, I'm very glad you got this tag because it's been so interesting to see things you can't do without. Do you know something, Henry. If I was a publisher I'd be thinking 'hmmm, do I see a book in this?'.

I know what you mean about serious posters perhaps being a bit - now, what is the phrase - up their own ***** about a dog responding to one of their posts. It's their loss.

Lee said...

Quite a good and doggy set of addictions. Do you have any really naughty ones that you haven't told us about?

Henry the Dog said...

FF - stop it, stop it, mum commented yesterday that I was looking a bit too full of myself. Mustn't let my ego get out of control. Seriously though, I think my appeal is limited, but I don't care. I love blogging and will continue to do so. Also, yes I agree that there are some folk up their own ***** but there are lots who aren't and they're the ones who make blogging so enjoyable.

Lee - no, I've no naughty ones, honest. Mum won't let me be naughty. Mum's got some naughty ones. One of them is nicotine. She used to be a smoker but stopped in 2002 BM (Before Me). However, she's still addicted, the only difference is that she no longer NEEDS a cigarette, but she says the wanting one has never stopped for her. Mum is also addicted to anything sweet and sickly but she doesn't allow herself to eat stuff like that very often. Mum is also addicted to quite a few other things but she'd be mad if I listed them all, and I'd be here a long time too.

French Fancy said...

well Henry I know just how mum feels because I used to smoke about 2o Marlborough a day and gave up in 2000. I've given up the habit but I must admit after every main meal (and ours is lunch - yes, we've Frenchified ourselves) I do think 'mmmm, a cigarette would be just the job now'.

I've also got a very sweet tooth just like mum - I don't think my willpower is as good as hers though. I am a bit too self-indulgent.I really like kids' sweets - like jelly beans, Skittles, things like that and I'd rather not open a bag and have one or two - it's almost all or nothing, I'm afraid.

Lee said...

My imagination is galloping, like a hamster in a treadmill...

Blu said...

Whats wrong with a dog blog???

Keep writing your tails, you littel wag!

meryl's musings said...

Okay, my landlord made me snort outloud today when she tried smelling through her mouth. Did she ever look silly! But now maybe she understands a bit more about me. You are awesome and my landlord keeps talking about how great your mum writes and it all needs to be in a book. I know she'd buy one.

Anonymous said...

What wonderful addictions, Henry! Tenshi can relate to the strict diet. He gets bummed out that he can't have a piece of steak or a hamburger. He, too, only gets food that is mom-approved. Seems like both of you have an affinity for beer and wine. Good thing Uncle Hugh doesn't put his drink down, something tells me you'd drink it all . . . don't worry, Tenshi would do the same thing. And I think a blogging dog is quite cool. I wish I knew what Tenshi was thinking, sometimes!

Henry the Dog said...

FF - yes, mum is exactly the same after her main meal - wonder why that is? Yes, she does have willpower when it comes to sweet stuff but wished she could be more relaxed about her body and let herself go more from time to time. She's a tad hard on herself in my view:(

Lee - keep imagining 'cause I'm not divulging any more, she'd kill me;)

Blu - in my view nothing's wrong, it makes a nice change don't you think? Will definitely keep blogging as I've always been a scribbler - at least now I'm doing something useful with my scribblings.

KC - yeah, I bet she looked silly, but hopefully now she realises we often taste in order to properly smell, and vice versa. I'm positively growing by the day with all these compliments. I'll soon be a Giant Schnauzer:) I'm feeling all shy!

Kathryn - in my view there's nothing wrong with a bit of the bad stuff - in moderation. Trouble is, I don't do moderation. Yes you probably wouldn't want to know what Tenshi's thinking ALL the time. It's a good job my mum can't read my thoughts - although sometimes I feel as if she can....

detroit dog said...

Well, Henry, I've been thinking for a while that you write very well, and I agree with French Fancy that perhaps a book is in order. The life of a dog in France during the credit "munch." I think it would sell well and later become a fun movie. Seriously.

Diane said...

For what it's worth, I you're quite a lovely blogging dog and nowhere near a prat. And also for what it's worth, in my humble opinion, a comment from a dog on a sad or serious post would be welcomed... I know that when I'm feeling down, the one thing absolutely guaranteed to pick me up is a comment (or a cuddle) from my dog ;)

Sandra said...

well i for one don't have a problem with a blogging dog..dogs have thoughts and opinions too so can't comment on my blog anytime you want. your invited and you don't even have to wipe your paws before you do lol

lady jicky said...

"I love a good sniff too boyfriend! Hey - whats wrong with a dog with a blog??? Hell, I read and answer them!!!"
Rosie the Pug with a new eye drug!
I do rhyme 's too.

anything.something.everything said...

it's ok to be an addict henry :o) I am too... which makes me thing of asking it in shewrites someday :o)

and i love hearing how you see the world and that's why I keep coming back AND, if you're so busy, I would surely love to hear your comments on ALL MY BLOGS! :o) hihi


Henry the Dog said...

Detroit Dog - perhaps I could write one about a young dog called Henry who has a scar on his head when one day he's visited by this giant who tells him that really he's a doggy wizard...that'd be good eh?

Diane - yes dogs are great comforters. I always make mum smile when she's feeling down.

Sandra - thanks for dropping by, I'll pop over to yours when I've finished this:)

Rosie - how's your eyes? Hope they're 100% for Christmas. Kisses, or should I say 'bisous' - a knew word I've learned in French:)

Meili - they're not bad addicts are they? Will pop over to yours soon xx