Warning: if you're a veggie this may cause offence - you have been warned!
Mum and Uncle Hugh have started watching this thing on UK TV called “I’m a Celebrity get me out of here”. Mum calls it ‘chewing gum for the brain’. I call it mindless garbage and I’m really surprised that she watches it. I think she could spend her time better by reading and trying to understand her latest New Scientist magazine or by watching something informative on Discovery Channel. For all you non-UK people the gist of the programme is this:
- Take 10 ‘celebrities’ – one of which must be a nonentity with pneumatic breasts, orange skin and either married to or engaged to a footballer who plays for England (i.e. a WAG), one of which must be a really old ‘star’ from the US and one of which must be from a defunct ‘boy’ band, the rest will be a mixture of UK z-list 'celebrities' whose careers are failing miserably and who will literally do anything to resurrect it. For a further insight into what constitues a 'celebrity' in the UK read this: How to become a Celebrity in the UK.
- Dump them all together in the middle of a rainforest in Australia for three weeks.
- Get the sadistic public to vote for which of the ‘celebrities’ they would like to see humiliated each day by having to do truly awful things - usually involving insects or other crawling creatures.
- After a few days of humiliation, the sadistic public starts to vote for their favourite ‘celebrity’ and the one with the fewest votes each day gets booted out. After which, depending how long they’ve managed to stay in, they may end up with their own perfume, fitness DVD and bestselling autobiography.
It explains it all here if you haven’t got anything better to do: I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!
On Monday night, two celebrities were voted by the public to do a task that involved eating various things. I thought these tasks were supposed to be revolting, but no! They were given delicacies such as crocodile eyeballs, grass-hoppers (I ate loads of those in Switzerland), chicken feet and kangaroo balls. I’m thinking ‘YUMMY! DELICIOUS! Whereas the ‘celebrities’ were really unhappy about having to eat them and were making lots of fuss and gagging noises. Mum couldn’t even watch, Uncle Hugh was moaning “YUK, how gross…” and I’m thinking - what is the difference between a kangaroo ball and a snail or, say, a whelk? Is not a prawn merely an insect of the sea? And what’s wrong with a chicken’s foot – is it much different from a frog’s leg? (I know for definite they eat chicken’s feet in china) And all you folks who’ve dared to eat an oyster - surely you cannot think that it is any less gross than a crocodile eyeball? Have you seen an oyster? My goodness they’re ugly
My mum devours oysters, prawns, whelks, snails and frogs’ legs without a whimper. I know she also eats tripe over here in France so why should she get squeamish about Kangaroo balls? I don't get it. You humans are definitely a big puzzle.
Actually, she's not eating anything at the moment, she's sucking soup through a straw because of her poorly lip and saying "..if I don't lose any weight after all this I'll slash my wrists.." In fact, she'd probably kill for a kangaroo ball at the moment:)