How to become a Celebrity in the UK - Part II

Apparently over the last couple of days there’s been quite a bit of an uproar in the UK about what two guys who work for the BBC said on an answermachine. According to mum, these two guys - Mr Ross & Mr Brand “…believe their own sickeningly arrogant hype and accordingly believe that their celebrity status will protect them from anything they do – no matter how offensive”. She says Mr Ross should have known better because even though he says his “rrr’s” as “w’s”, he’s quite experienced (although he has let fame go to his head), but the other guy, Mr Brand, is “…just a sex-obsessed ex-junkie, a pre-Raphaelite version of Bernard Manning who will say literally anything to make a cheap tabloid headline, however lewd, crude or downright disgusting…” according to Piers Morgan. I think Piers Morgan is a Saint or something. He must be because mum says he thinks he can do no wrong.

Anyway, Mr Brand has now resigned from the BBC Low-life Celebrity Quits . Mum says that the BBC paid him more than £10 per year to say rude things on the Radio and for NOT being funny. That’s an extortionate amount of money AND a daft thing to do. Why pay someone who is crap? According to mum the BBC do it all the time AND they use other people’s money to do so. Apparently all the British public have to pay more than £10 per year EACH to this BBC place so that they can pay people like this Brand man to swear and be rude and this Ross man to say his “rrr’s” as “w’s”. Crazy!

Mum says this swearing, offensive Brand guy will now be even MORE famous and will end up with his own aftershave and exercise DVD. According to mum he already has his own best selling autobiography called “My Booky Wook”. I know she’s having me on!!!! The British public aren’t stupid enough to buy a book with such a daft title.